Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Breathe In...Breathe Out

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia"]A Christmas tree inside a home.[/caption]

Normally, I am an organized person. I love my calendars, daytimer, and to do list. This Christmas season has seen me running in circles, and having the feeling of not getting much accomplished. I told my daughter this morning that I have yet to watch more than ONE of my all time favorite Christmas movies. The only reason I was able to watch The Bishop's Wife (with Cary Grant) is that I squeezed it in WHILE I was balancing my checkbook. How sad is that?

I had such high hopes of eating warm cookies, and drinking hot chocolate while watching Christmas movies. I would have plenty of time to shop and wrap gifts. Yes, in my mind it was going to be like a Norman Rockwell picture or a print from Currier and Ives. Sigh. Instead it looked more like this....

1. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T SHIP BY CHRISTMAS???!!! You have to ship by Christmas. There are lives at stake! Namely mine.

2. I think the tree is leaning forward. Can we prop something under the stand? What would fit up under there without knocking it over?

3. Why are the lights blinking? Stop the blinking. I'm about to have a seizure!

4. I'm too tired to make cookies tonight.That is pretty tired, people.

5. The materials for the gingerbread house are still in the box. Wow, the picture on the box looks really cute. Maybe we could just cut the picture out and prop it up. Will people even notice?

6. I asked my son if he'd be offended if I just chucked his and his brother and sister's gifts under the tree and forgot the  gift wrapping? He just stared at me. Really? Okay, fine. It was worth a try.

7. My company will be welcomed to our house through a pet cluttered deck, and into a laundry (alas, mud) room. The floor is covered in mud and snow.....and quite frankly, at this point I don't care. This is our life. Mud and all.

8. If I get cut off in the parking lot at Wal-mart one more time, I might have holiday road rage.  On the up side, my mug shot could be used for next year's Christmas card.

9. Speaking of Christmas cards, I had such good intentions. Really. I did.

10. I'm playing Mary (as in Jesus mother) this year. It's an Advent monologue that I am performing this Sunday. I love drama. I just hope I can remember my lines! Breathe in.....breathe out.......

Merry Christmas Everyone!


  1. Funny post, I especially like #5-the picture always looks better than the end result anyways!

    Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  2. Love this post! I agree! And wouldn't it be so much easier if we had "low expectations, non-Rockwell" for the holidays instead? I'm attached to my to do list, and have been known to write the day at the top so that I can mark through it and get a sense of satisfaction. Now, onto the other sixty-five items on my list...

  3. Your mug shot would make a nice Christmas card! And I am sure you'll do great in the play ... break a leg!

  4. I recently had to forgive myself.

    I did not send Christmas cards -- and I feel horrible about it!

    But I'm facing a legal battle, trying to create a magical Christmas for two jolly souls, working full time, writing when I can...and cards simply didn't fit.

    Good to hear I'm not alone. Great post! :)

  5. Egg Nog is the cure for what stresses you this Christmas season. Well...maybe not the actual eggnog per se, but what yu pour into the eggnog - just sayin'

    Great post!



  6. I thought number 6 was ingenious. Think of all the time we could save if we didn't rap the gifts. I wonder if my mother ever had this idea? Christmas can be a time of stress and enjoyment. Great Blog!

  7. Great post... I can TOTOALLY relate to all of the items on your list...most closely, #5. I haven't even gotten to the part of buying the gingerbread house kit this year. We just go to the store and 'visit' it. :) Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  8. There is SO much to do this time of the year, I am exhausted just thinking about it!

  9. Thanks for the smiles your post invoked this morning! Like the others who've commented....we are all on our way to some nuthouse soon if the 26th doesn't get here! When we look back we'll remember the smiles and laughter and time spent with friends and family and honestly just be happy we've survived another Christmas! I swear it's the commericals that keep showing all those "perfect" families that drive us to keep striving for back to breathing! Congratulations on being freshley pressed! and .....Merry Christmas!

  10. Oh yes, definitely ...breathe in ..breathe out...slowly...
    and yes,Christmas,that time of year when you tell yourself ...It's all worthwhile, (as we're pulling our hair out in frustration!!) and nothing is going to stop us enjoying ourselves!! Nothing!! ;-) xPenx

  11. It's just a web site man!December 16, 2010 at 5:08 AM

    Good post. I think we all get caught up in the Christmas hustle and bustle and we end up missing the important part of Christmas. It is helpful sometimes to express in writing what is going on in our world so we can maybe slow it down a bit...

  12. Haha nice. I don't know why I just had this flashback while reading your post, but when I was a kid we had a cat get surgery before Christmas. He had to wear one of those cones around his neck. One day, he decided to run up the Christmas tree! Everything got tangled and the tree fell over and started moving. Tinsel and ornaments went flying. So there's that.

  13. I laughed at the idea of a mug shot being next year's Christmas card. I can totally relate. Congrats on being freshly pressed.

  14. How appropo that I'm posted underneath another Christmas movie lover, EduClaytion. Hi bud!

    I know exactly what you mean. This year I was determined to have all of my Christmas cards out before December rolled around, but alas, they are ALL still in the box, and I don't know if I'll get to them. I've had more luck on the movie front, but only because I multitask while watching them. I had "visions of sugarplums dancing" this Christmas, but my schedule ended up being too busy to allow for the "perfect" holiday traditions to be done. So, in place, I've done new things with new people and had new fun! You have to enjoy things as they come to you!

    Congrats on FP! Happy Holidays!

  15. Congrats on Freshly Pressed. Good Luck with the Play! Merry Christmas & I'm sure everything will be FINE! Ha, Ha, Ha! You are right, just BREATHE!!!!

  16. I recommend you skip the gingerbread house -- they are super hard to make.
    As for the wrapping, I totally recommend gift bags. They are faster and they are reusable. Also there isn't a massive pile of shredded paper to pick up after the gifts are open.

  17. Dawn... You have a mind like mine.....strange. Take a look at how we think alike in our humor...

  18. This is great! I totally understand freaking out over shipping. I have three gifts I'm waiting on... I keep opening the front door to see if they're here yet. And, of course, they're not.

  19. I hear ya! Such a crazy and stressful time of year! Good luck!

  20. Awesome blog post! Ilaughed because it so true to form and my sentiments exactly! Passing this one on to my fb and tweet friends. Merry Christmas!

  21. Being cut off at Walmart is the worst seriously lol. Nice post.

  22. Busy Busy Busy...
    Sounds like christmas is more of an endeavor than a holiday...
    it's comforting to know that there's more than one person cutting corners for christmas haha
    Fun post...

    Don't stop Howling...
    OhKami's Voice

  23. Loved it and could easily relate. Skip the cookies & gingerbread house, get some gift bags and hope for the best. Many of us have been right there with you; Cheers for the season ;)

    PS I wrote of a similar experience here:

  24. Oh--I can relate! and your comment about Walmart reminded me of this post:

    congratulations on being Freshly Pressed--I enjoy your writing style--feels like I am sitting with a friend!


  25. very good post. number 1 is funny because you would think that places would ship to get by christmas. these businesses and their weird shipping

  26. Beautiful christnas tree!
    I do not care too much on to do list things. I guess my brain is like a computer that i always can remember what to do.
    Merry Christmas and happy new year!

  27. So funny! I love the gingerbread box... why didn't I think of that?

    I have a 17 year old so this is his last one at "home". I got a bit weepy about it and wondered what we should do. Then I remembered that we've never really had a Cleaver-esque Christmas, so why should this be any different?

    Congrats on being FP - I got one yesterday - and it was a wonderfully wild ride indeed.

    Breathe in.
    Breathe out.


  28. hahaha. i think if i had a family (and i celebrated xmas) id be the exact same way.

  29. I'm seriously thinking about doing #5 which has been sitting on my table for at least 2 weeks!!!
    OK....I'm breathing in.....and out.

  30. It is quite easy, out of PVC pipe, to build a good flute. So this year I've sent family and friends a recording of me playing a Christmas Carol. I played, " oh come Emmanuel' which suits a flute quite well, though I only started playing such a flute at age 75.

  31. I won't say I've given up... exactly. But those holiday lists? They're semi-buried, and a naked tree has been in its stand for three days and nights (I guess we'll get to the decorating this weekend).

    As for cards? Gifts? Everything else? Ah, the best laid plans... But as long as family is together, that's good enough for me.

  32. Very funny stuff, love it!

  33. Sandy@ Jesus and Dark ChocolateDecember 16, 2010 at 11:58 AM

    Ha Ha Dawn....thanks for the good laugh and dose of reality! :)
    Loved #5 and #8. :) :)

    Nice job on the fresh press....really it sounds like a good cup of coffee not a blog thing.....

  34. [...] Normally, I am an organized person. I love my calendars, daytimer, and to do list. This Christmas season has seen me running in circles, and having the feeling of not getting much accomplished. I told my daughter this morning that I have yet to watch more than ONE of my all time favorite Christmas movies. The only reason I was able to watch The Bishop's Wife (w … Read More [...]

  35. Wow that all sounds crazy. It makes me miss Christmas a little bit since I'm living in China where Christmas is not widely celebrated. #9 reminds me of the Christmas card assembly line that my parents coerced into forming to get our Christmas cards done on time! Good luck with everything!

  36. Christmas is my absolute F-A-V-O-R-I-T-E time of year...but I just had a new baby and already have a toddler running around. So...I am admitting that I opted to leave my house completely undecorated and am camping out at my Mother-in-Law's house where the tree is decorated, the stockings are hung, and she made the gingerbread house with my daughter this morning! So don't be too hard on yourself, after all you aren't being a mooch like me!

  37. In China we also feel the footsteps of X'mas although it is not our traditional festival.

  38. Great post! As an overachiever in organizing I so relate! But I've finally figured out the perfect Christmas is simply remembering what it's all about - the birth of Jesus Christ. Have a Merry Christmas!

  39. I feel your pain regarding wal-mart road rage!

  40. I agree on the gingerbread house..just put the whole box on the mantel and hng some tinsel on it. Don't kill anyone at Walmart, it's not worth it.

    As for Christmas cards, I have a new theory. I do some until I feel irritated or something else to do and then I stop. This year I did 12.

  41. Awww... Don't miss out on those movies! That is a very important part of Christmas for me, too. Just this past Sunday evening, I begged my kids to watch White Christmas with me--"just one more time, please!" We hadn't watched any holiday movies yet and I was all in the holiday mood. Finally, I grabbed my blanket, popped in the movie, went to the couch and reclined in peace while immersing myself completely in the movie. It was great! By the last part of the movie, my daughter had made her way to the other end of the couch and was smiling at the dance scenes. My son only peeked his head in now and then, but did say he wanted to watch it, only not then.
    Those old movies really help me slow down and enjoy the holiday. They give me those "breathe in, breathe out" moments you mentioned.

    I'm digging out It's a Wonderful Life this weekend. Even if it just ends up being me and the couch again!

  42. Hey, look on the bright side, you still managed to hold onto your humor, probably more than your sanity though...still, thanks for spreading the laughter, god knows I could use some this Christmas. Good luck to your performance and congrats to you for being FP. Merry Xmas!

  43. Why are we so pressurized during this time of the year. It's because its all too commercialized. That's why I made this protest

    Why dont we stick to the real meaning of Christmas. (we even spell it Xmas) oh people..

  44. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!! Think it is awesome.
    Loved your list, had some thoughts:
    1. I am a hundred percent positive that next year i will make the internet WORK for me!!! I will schedule a time in the middle of November (perhaps the beginning) and get every single person something that can be delievered to my office by courier service. Now, i wish i could just get everyone to start reading. One site would make things even more conveniant.
    2. If your tree looks anything like the image you have posted- well done!!! Who cares if it is skew! It is up!!! (The only tree i have seen up this Christmas is mine.)
    3. Your lights are blinking from excitement!!!
    4. No cookie= no extra calories.
    5. Very impressed with all teh gingerbread houses that seem to be discussed on Wordpress. I did commit myself in the beginning of the month to attempting men...... but i feel like divorcing that idea now.
    6. HAHAHA. Very funny! The thought that came to my mind was that Father Christmas cant use any of the paper we have in the house..... my little monster is so perseptive- she would comment about it. And then i would have more explaining to do. What do we think of newspaper..... Father Christmas is into recycling, I am sure!!
    7. I wish we had snow at Christmas!!!! (Even if it came with mud!)
    8. I would suggest you "hoot" all teh way through teh parking lot. People run from mad people.
    9. Email the Christmas cards!!! It is all about going green. Tell them they can print them if they really need to.......?
    10. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why you have no time....I think that is absolutely stunning. And you coudl always make your words up as you go one will say anything- it is Christmas!!!

  45. oh man. fellow mom. and all i can say is 'breathe in...breathe out'-- agreed.

    Congrats to you -- please get those lights fixed...I got anxiety just at the mere thought.



  46. Hahah, number 6 gave me a good laugh. i received an unwrapped gift before with a note in it "You will destroy the wrapper anyway."

  47. haha gotta love it! For me its... OH NO! NOT ANOTHER 20 INCHES OF SNOW! That really tends to slow a person down. I'm surprised i got this far with the xmas spirit.. i started out this year saying NO TREE! NO XMAS DECORATIONS.. I'M GOING TO BE SCROOGE! Yeah, so much for that idea.
    Good luck! Merry Christmas

  48. "Speaking of Christmas cards, I had such good intentions. Really. I did."

    Hahahha. Ok wait. Hahahaha. Ok I am sorry. :P
    Hilarious list!
    My sympathies. And congratulations on being Freshly Pressed.
    Merry X'mas :D

  49. Great post, thanks for sharing ! Lucky day

  50. interesting post... I didn't know that you really enjoy this fiesta that mutch... thank you for the informations.

  51. Wow, do I understand this one! I wrote about the same issue and entitled it "Where Are You Christmas?" I just don't know what it is about this year. I can't get it together. :( Cheryl

  52. Thank you for the wonderful reminder to breathe this Christmas!

    Blessings & Giggles!

  53. These are hilarious and I can relate to most of it! Thanks for a bit of a break for a breath in, breath out moment today :)

  54. What? It's Christmas???? OMG.... I just cleaned up the Halloween mess. I kept telling myself that I needed to get my shopping started... ( :
    Love the post... Happy Holidays

  55. Congratulations for making Freshly Pressed. Good for you Dawn! You've hit the big time! Merry Christmas.

  56. very funny, mud and all! hehe... thanks for the chuckle!

  57. Love your post! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  58. Save a tree (not a Christmas one) and don't wrap. My kids gifts would probably not be wrapped were it not for my husband. I am terrible at it and it makes me cranky. My parents said that their gifts were never wrapped as children. Santa doesn't wrap gifts. I hope you get to watch your movies. Love The Bishops Wife! Try watching A Holiday Affair. It's a little less known but it is wonderful. The boy in the movie is too cute. Enjoy!

  59. Your Christmas list sounds a lot like mine. Although, I did assist in making cookies by carefully opening a roll of Pillsbury sugar cookie dough, taking out the cookie cutters and rolling pin and handing them to one of my kids who did the rest. Merry Christmas to you and yours, Diane

  60. I am so with you, I actually think I might not make it this year! I still have no clue what to get my children, and my friend was killing herself over this fact, she of course has been finished for weeks. And my children keep asking, "When are we making the shortbread cookies? When are we making the gingerbread house? When are we going to the Christmas train? When are we visiting Santa at the mall?" I tell my Jewish friends - who are so utterly at ease this time of year - that I am converting.

  61. Told with humor, it helps I am sure.

    Good read with some laughs out loud!


  62. Oh I so recognize this... what happened to chill out holiday season? :) Funny post, made me giggle out load!

    Congrats of being Freshly Pressed!

  63. for those who want to share and understand the word of God Greetings and Blessings

  64. Loving it. I think you're really capturing the mood of Christmas! Panic stations!!!! Haha! I am sitting, blogging and watching my presents wrapping themselves before my very eyes.... Actually, my wonderful partner is wrapping like crazy. Ah, that makes me feel calm.
    It is a mad month this month. Sounds like you're having as much fun as me.

  65. Good luck! You sound like us! lol Merry Christmas and Congrats on being Freshly Pressed! :)

  66. First of all my congrats for the Freshly Pressed!
    What an awesome post and it really put a big smile on my face.
    There is so much that I could have written as well.
    E.g. #9, well, I still got my Christmas Cards sent out in the mail but if they really will arrive before Christmas, only Santa might know. ;)

    #3 reminds me of me doing the outside decoration around my front door. Just with the difference that my lights neither would blink nor do anything at all. I simply forgot to check them before I put them up and ended up running to Lowes to get a couple new light strings and to redo everything.

    #8 - isn't the time before Christmas so peaceful and calm, especially on the roads? All the reindeer like decorated trucks and SUV's they love to cut you off just so they will be in the parking lot before you, so they hopefully will get a special steal out of Walmart, still before you will enter the door?

    Awesome list Dawn. That's the joy of the time before Christmas.
    Have A Very Merry Christmas
    Paula Jo

  67. I totally agree about the Wal-mart thing but all year round. I live in AZ and if one more blue haired snow bird cuts me off I'm gonna lose it.