Tuesday, February 1, 2011

A Moment Of Clarity

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="180" caption="Image by Old Shoe Woman via Flickr"]People Praying[/caption]

Waiting is hard.

I want to DO something. I want to BE something. I want to SEE the plan.

At times I feel confined. Restrained. Broken...from the waiting. Frustrations seem more than I can handle at times.

I long to know the plan. I want to see what is around the bend.  Get all the tools I need. Be prepared.

Waiting is a struggle for me. In my journal I highlighted these words from a man who understands waiting. Charles Swindoll once said, "Lord, this is your battle. This is your need you've allowed me to trust you for...and I'm waiting for You to do it. I'm waiting for as long as necessary for You to do the impossible."  I contemplate this man's words.

Waiting is not passive. It is difficult. It takes a great deal of my effort to remain still, to trust, to obey. I am not too proud to admit that there have been times in my life, that I've argued with God. Times that I have asked, "Why?!" , "Why me?!", "What good will come from this?" or " Lord, I want this so badly, why won't you allow it?" Arguing with God is exhausting.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. (Isaiah 55:8  NIV) And if I'm honest with myself, do I really want a God that I completely understand? That I would understand all His "why's" ? That I could keep in a small box?  I have trouble understanding tax codes, how to drive a stick shift, or work my MP3 player. If I could understand God, wouldn't that make Him small?

The questions of my heart rise to the surface and I am forced to consider what I really believe. About myself, and more importantly about God.

God, do you really love me? Do you care? Didn't you create me for something greater than this?

The answer is a resounding YES to all three questions.

Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. (1 John 4:10 KJV)

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7 NIV)

So, I wait.

Father, please give me the grace to wait patiently on You.





1 comment:

  1. This is one of your most beautiful pieces of wrtiting. I am passing this on to my small group bible study and other friends as well. God spoke to me through your writing.