Thursday, September 9, 2010

I Am Smarter Than The Dog

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia"]Border Collie[/caption]

1.The family has two dogs.

2. The dog in question is named Ace.

3. Ace is an American Working Farm Collie.

4. Also known as a pain in the neck.

5. We have a rountine.

6. I get up most mornings and walk at 6 a.m.

7. Ace sees me come out the door and barks his head off.

8. The ear splitting barking at 6 a.m. is such a joy to me.

9. No, really.

10. Okay, I'm lying.

11. I tell him to shut up and go lay down.

12. Sometimes he listens to me...sometimes not.

13. It depends on his mood.

14. Lately, the two of us have been in a battle.

15. He keeps stealing the cat food dishes off the deck.

16. He has food of his own. He is a pig.

17. He wants the cat food too.

18. Every morning I have to find where he has taken the cat food dishes.

19. I track them down.

20. I sternly tell Ace to quit being a thief.

21. He rolls over and plays dead.

22. I tell him he is a big fake.

23. I'm not falling for the dead act.

24. He opens an eye and looks at me.

25. I stick out my tongue at him.

26. He wags his tail.

27. Goober head.

28. I march the dishes back up to the deck.

29. I monitor the area while the cats are eating.

30. I close the door.

31. I see two ears moving just under the deck line.

32. Just like the fin in the movie Jaws.

33. Just as the big, furry, cat food stealing thief gets to the deck...I throw open the door.

34. A ha!!!

35. I caught you.

36. Ace jumps, startled.

37. I tell him to go lay down and get off the deck, so the cats can eat in peace!

38. He tries to fake me out.

39. He walks away.

40. He circles back, as soon as I close the door.

41. I watch the ears approach again.

42. Blam!

43. The doors slams open.

44. Caught again!

45. I lecture Ace on animal feeding etiquette.

46. He yawns. And wags. And barks.

47. If the neighbors hear me, I'm sure they are thinking they live next to a nut job.

48. Whatever.

49. I cannot believe I am in a battle of wits with a dog.

50. And he is winning!!! The dishes are back out in the yard. Again.

1 comment:

  1. HILARIOUS!! I feel your pain. We are the nastiest family in the neighborhood because we keep the cat food on the kitchen table.