In The Rearview Mirror

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In chapter 8 of One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp says, "God reveals Himself in rearview mirrors. And I've an inkling that there are times when we need to drive a long, long distance, before we can look back and see God's back in the rearview mirror...Maybe sometimes about as far as heaven ---that kind of distance."

Wow. That statement rocked me. Hard.

I've thought about this a lot, long before I read Ann's words. She just reminded me of it.

In my own life, I can look back and see all the ways that God has loved and provided for me. He has shown patience with me, and forgiven me.  During the good days...and also in the days I slogged through the muck.

It's all His grace.

Looking back...

Both the wise decisions I've made and the poor decisions...consequences I suffered.

People I've lost...tears I've shed. New friendships and relationships.

Drawing close to Him...Him drawing even closer to me.

My life glimmers in the mirror. School, Family, Career, Marriage, Motherhood, Friendships, Homes, Widowhood, Death, Dating, Remarriage, Blended Families, Resigning from teaching, Home School, New House, Moving, Job Loss, New Job.....

The small decisions of the every day, the big decisions that change a life, the happy, the sad, the silly and the profound. All the things that knit together to make my life.

It is when I look in my rearview mirror that I realize God was there.

He's always been there..... It was me. I was the one driving blind.

I must keep my eyes open to see Him.

I'm continuing on this journey, to thank Him in the daily grind. To live fully...right where I'm at.

# 196 It was only the basement that flooded during this rainy weather. It could have been worse...and it wasn't.

# 197 My husband who is good at fixing stuff, in the now muddy and soggy basement. He's trying hard to get this done.

#198 Warm socks on a cold floor.

#199 Conversations with my children.

#200 Letters from the heart.

# 201 Warm quilts

# 202 My favorite wing back chair to read in

#203 An extra spoonful of sour cream

# 204 My son making dinner

# 205 Kindness

It's all eucharisteo to... Him. It's all grace to me.

(Click the multitudes on Mondays --One Thousand Gifts graphic on the ride side of my blog...if you want to read what others are saying!)

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Basements Shouldn't Be Swimming Pools!

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This morning I got up and went about my regular Saturday morning routine. I noticed, while in the kitchen, that the water pressure seemed sort of weak. I told my husband. He went down to the basement to check the pump.

Splash.

He found out that our basement had nearly six feet of water in it! Good grief.

It continues to rain. And the entire area is under a flood warning. The ground is saturated.

So is our basement.

What a mess.

Sigh.

I decided that I could worry and be upset about this whole occurrence...

It certainly would be easy to get angry...

But....I've been disciplining myself over the past several weeks.

Daily eucharisteo.

Giving thanks.

Is today's mess frustrating? Yes.

A pain in the neck? Definitely.

It could have been worse.  But, it wasn't.

Thanks on the good days. Thanks on the not as good days.

Each day there are things to be thankful for.

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More moments to add to my list of thanks

Each captured

Time slows

Eucharisteo. Now. Always now.

I write them down, so I won't forget.

Never forget His love for me

 

#182 Conversations that make me smile

#183 Blog comments

#184 Bright, golden sunshine

#185 Good mood

#186 A sense of accomplishment

#187 Anticipating a thunderstorm

#188 Taking a quiet time

#189 Family movie nights

#190 Email

# 191 Ice cream with chocolate syrup

#192 Watching my son chase the dog

#193 Laughing so hard

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Eat Your Nutritional Bits!

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Life has come to me arguing with the dog.He is not participating in the argument, so really it's just me pretending to argue with the dog.

Okay, so maybe cajoling him.

Oh, alright! Begging him. This is so humiliating.

Tonight I was trying to get Lonnie, the wonder dog...all 19 pounds of him...to eat his nutritional bits.

I buy him the dog food that is supposed to be good for him. Healthy even.

The nutritional bits resemble little chocolate chip looking things. Yum.

Lonnie refuses his nutrition. Instead he roots through all the rest of the dog food, spewing bits as he goes. How in the world does an animal that has no fingers pick all those teeny, tiny bits out of the bowl? He must spit them out like watermelon seeds. I will have to make a point to observe this. I'll have to be sneaky if I want to watch, Lonnie tends to be covert.

I called the little terrier to me when I saw the mess he made. I gave him the "stink eye". He stared back. I proceeded to lecture him on his canine health. He licked me. I continued to inform him of his need for good teeth and a shiny coat. He actually yawned. At this point I placed my hand on my hip, got the mom stance and said (with a straight face) "Lonnie you are like a five year old who pushes his peas all around the plate. You need to eat your nutritional bits!"

I thought for sure that I had made my case.

Sigh.

On a good note, the cat seems to enjoy eating them off the floor.

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Time Out

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As a former elementary, special education teacher and at one point a mom of a young son (who is now a teen) I know about time out. I could always tell when a child needed a time out. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing.... most times the child just needed some time away. Time to sit in the beanbag chair and stare out the window. Time to lay down and close one's eyes. Time to breathe. Time to rest.

Why is it always easier to tell when someone else needs a time out to rest and regroup? When it comes to myself, I am terrible about this. Sigh.

I thought when I remarried, after five years of widowhood, that it would be easier. I was going to be able to stay home, home school the children of my now blended family, do the daily household tasks and still have time to rest. Uh huh. What world was I living in? Certainly not reality.

Rest. What is that?

And yet, rest it is something that I crave. I want. I need.

Jesus knows this. He says to each of us, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)

If you are anything like me, you have been led to believe that resting is nonproductive. I could be accomplishing something, instead of resting. I have a mountain of laundry to get done, I need to get the dishes out of the dishwasher, my son needs help with Algebra, my daughter needs to complete her history report, the dog needs brushed, the carpet needs vacuumed, I have a blog to finish and what in the world am I fixing for dinner?!

Rest.

I live in a beautiful part of the country. In 2009 my husband and I moved our family to rural Ohio. He works remotely so we could pick anywhere to live. We picked the country. My favorite place is our front porch. I love to settle down in the Adirondack chair and look down our driveway and across the road. Our neighbors have llamas and I enjoy watching them graze. The baby llamas look like huge, fluffy cotton balls. I can see deer in the field that is diagonal from our property. There is a bright red barn in the distance. The sun blazes across the horizon on that end of the house...and in the evening the sky turns shades of purple and blue. I hear the train whistle in the distance and I hear a dog's muffled bark.

Time slows for me. I breathe deeply.

Rest. Renewal.

Time alone. Time with God. Time to rest in Him.

As I look down our country road this verse comes to my mind....

Jeremiah 6:16  This is what the Lord says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls."

Join me over at The Faith Barista Jam. (Click on the link on the right side of my page) This month we are talking about rest. Don't we all need that?

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So Many Times, I Am A Brick

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If you noticed my post from yesterday, you saw that I was frustrated and angry over losing my hard work. I was not enjoying my lap top. At all.

I look back at the incident and have to laugh. My post from yesterday was going to be on perspective. Isn't that funny? I thought I could write something worthwhile on perspective, and when I lost my post to cyberspace... I lost my temper. Not a very good perspective, huh?

I have a feeling I am not the only one that has those type of moments.

I wish I had it all together. Oh, how I wish! But...I don't. I admit it.

I am trying to work on perspective. Two steps forward and one step back. That is the way it always seems to work out. Life is all about the lessons, isn't it? What does God want me to learn today? Am I malleable in the Potter's hand? Or am I stubborn and hard like a brick? Can he gently smooth  my rough edges, or does He need to hammer away at me, until I soften?

Sigh. So many times I am a brick.

I am so grateful that God is patient with me. He is compassionate to me and forgives me, my human frailties.

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new EVERY morning; great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

 

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Frustration With A Capital F

I spent an entire HOUR on this morning's blog post, only to have my computer go wonky on me. I tried to save, but to no avail. All 60 minutes worth of writing...gone. Anger boiled up in me. I wanted to throw my computer across the room.
I am in the process of calming down right now. Maybe, I will try blogging again later.