Why?

I've spent a lot of my life asking questions. Not always out loud. I want to know the "why" behind things. What is the reasoning? What is the point?

How come? Why not? Are you sure? Does this make sense? Is this right? What do you think?

I still wrestle with the "why" questions of  life.

This past year, in the Grief Share group that I facilitate with my husband, one lady (that speaks on the DVD) talked about the fact that she is directionally challenged, can't program her own VCR, and doesn't know how to change the oil in her car... and yet she expects to understand the why of her husband's death? She went on to say that if she, who had difficulty with day to day chores, could understand God and how He thinks, wouldn't that make God small? Wouldn't that be putting the God of the universe in a neat, little, understandable box?  We as humans with finite minds will never be able to completely understand an infinite God.

To hear her speak was humbling...

because, so many times that is me.

I was reminded... once again...

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55: 8-9 NIV

Yes, Lord.

And I am humbled.

Related articles

• A Perfect Plan (gibsongirl247.wordpress.com)


• Should we really try to understand the Trinity? (westernthm.wordpress.com)


• Grief (livingingraceland.wordpress.com)


• Last Night a Trap Boy Saved My Life: T.I.'s Urban Legend (Feature) (popmatters.com)


• So much grief (ask.metafilter.com)

Why?

I've spent a lot of my life asking questions. Not always out loud. I want to know the "why" behind things. What is the reasoning? What is the point?

How come? Why not? Are you sure? Does this make sense? Is this right? What do you think?

I still wrestle with the "why" questions of  life.

This past year, in the Grief Share group that I facilitate with my husband, one lady (that speaks on the DVD) talked about the fact that she is directionally challenged, can't program her own VCR, and doesn't know how to change the oil in her car... and yet she expects to understand the why of her husband's death? She went on to say that if she, who had difficulty with day to day chores, could understand God and how He thinks, wouldn't that make God small? Wouldn't that be putting the God of the universe in a neat, little, understandable box?  We as humans with finite minds will never be able to completely understand an infinite God.

To hear her speak was humbling...

because, so many times that is me.

I was reminded... once again...

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55: 8-9 NIV

Yes, Lord.

And I am humbled.

Related articles

• A Perfect Plan (gibsongirl247.wordpress.com)


• Should we really try to understand the Trinity? (westernthm.wordpress.com)


• Grief (livingingraceland.wordpress.com)


• Last Night a Trap Boy Saved My Life: T.I.'s Urban Legend (Feature) (popmatters.com)


• So much grief (ask.metafilter.com)

When Walking In Pain

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Image by 竜次 ryuuji via Flickr"][/caption]

This week we are continuing to talk about being Christ-centric.

Making Christ our center.

Keeping Him in the center of each day.

In the center of a life.


**************

I've been thinking about pain, lately...

I cut my knee the other day. It bled a lot and it hurt.

I had a headache earlier this week and it made my neck stiff.

I don't like pain. I don't like to hurt. I try to shun it at all costs, if I can't do that,  I learn to tolerate it.  Sometimes pain doesn't show itself in a bloody knee, or a sore neck. Sometimes it shows itself, in ways that hurt to much to talk about.

Some days it is easier to deny the pain.

For awhile.

But then I'm forced to deal with it. Not always well. I struggle.

I am alone in my thoughts.

Isn't that the way of the human heart?

The thoughts rush through me, much like a tsunami. I wonder if this is what it feels like to drown?

...A friend who is watching the son she once knew, slip away to a confusing medical diagnosis--and doctors who don't hear her.

...Another friend who has to put his dear wife in a nursing home because her care has become to much for him

...A friend whose husband was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's, at 46

...A marriage dissolves

...A family that sits in an emergency room

...An unplanned pregancy

...Broken family bonds

...Poor decisions

...Hours cut at the job, when one is barely making ends meet

...A family member whose body is worn down from cancer treatments

...A widow, whose husband was taken from her by a man with a gun

And the list goes on.

Pain. Stinging pain.

How do I live a Christ centered life...how do I show Christ to others, when there is so much pain?

When the heart is burdened and the tears build

When an answer isn't given

When nothing seems to make sense

When facing the dashing of dreams

or the certainty of death...

I want Christ in the center.

I want Him not just near me. I want to be full of Him.

I want to be reminded that I do not walk alone.

I need to remember that nothing can separate me from Him. Nothing.

³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8: 38-39

AMEN

Related articles

• The Big Questions in Life. (jesusfreak783.wordpress.com)


• What do you do in the midst of deep darkness? (crt010304.wordpress.com)


• God Heals Hurts (guest post) (marykathryntyson.wordpress.com)


• Embrace the Cross (Re-Post) (inchristus.wordpress.com)


• For those who hurt. (practicingjane.wordpress.com)


• Being a Christian (zwingliusredivivus.wordpress.com)


• 6-21-11) Why This Pain (late4work.wordpress.com)

When Walking In Pain

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Image by 竜次 ryuuji via Flickr"][/caption]

This week we are continuing to talk about being Christ-centric.

Making Christ our center.

Keeping Him in the center of each day.

In the center of a life.


**************

I've been thinking about pain, lately...

I cut my knee the other day. It bled a lot and it hurt.

I had a headache earlier this week and it made my neck stiff.

I don't like pain. I don't like to hurt. I try to shun it at all costs, if I can't do that,  I learn to tolerate it.  Sometimes pain doesn't show itself in a bloody knee, or a sore neck. Sometimes it shows itself, in ways that hurt to much to talk about.

Some days it is easier to deny the pain.

For awhile.

But then I'm forced to deal with it. Not always well. I struggle.

I am alone in my thoughts.

Isn't that the way of the human heart?

The thoughts rush through me, much like a tsunami. I wonder if this is what it feels like to drown?

...A friend who is watching the son she once knew, slip away to a confusing medical diagnosis--and doctors who don't hear her.

...Another friend who has to put his dear wife in a nursing home because her care has become to much for him

...A friend whose husband was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's, at 46

...A marriage dissolves

...A family that sits in an emergency room

...An unplanned pregancy

...Broken family bonds

...Poor decisions

...Hours cut at the job, when one is barely making ends meet

...A family member whose body is worn down from cancer treatments

...A widow, whose husband was taken from her by a man with a gun

And the list goes on.

Pain. Stinging pain.

How do I live a Christ centered life...how do I show Christ to others, when there is so much pain?

When the heart is burdened and the tears build

When an answer isn't given

When nothing seems to make sense

When facing the dashing of dreams

or the certainty of death...

I want Christ in the center.

I want Him not just near me. I want to be full of Him.

I want to be reminded that I do not walk alone.

I need to remember that nothing can separate me from Him. Nothing.

³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8: 38-39

AMEN

Related articles

• The Big Questions in Life. (jesusfreak783.wordpress.com)


• What do you do in the midst of deep darkness? (crt010304.wordpress.com)


• God Heals Hurts (guest post) (marykathryntyson.wordpress.com)


• Embrace the Cross (Re-Post) (inchristus.wordpress.com)


• For those who hurt. (practicingjane.wordpress.com)


• Being a Christian (zwingliusredivivus.wordpress.com)


• 6-21-11) Why This Pain (late4work.wordpress.com)

When You Can't See Through The Fog

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="159" caption="Image by BrendonPG via Flickr"][/caption]

I've got a million things to do today...and not enough time to get it all done.

It's very foggy this morning--like pea soup, foggy. There is sun on the other side of the fog. I see it peeking through in spots.

It reminds me of life.

Sometimes things can look "foggy".  I wonder how in the world everything is going to work out? It's difficult to see into the future. But, then the SON peeks through the fog...and things start to take shape. This is not to say that everything works out perfectly, at least not by my standards. At least not by what I know. I don't (can't) always see the big picture. I can only see what is right in front of my face.

That is where trust comes in.

Sometimes, that is all I have to give.

Trust.

And really, that is all I need.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
   and he will direct your paths.  Proverbs 3:5-6  NIV

*****************

*beautiful sun through the fog

*another fresh, new week

*quiet, early morning

*reading the Father's Day cards that the kids gave

*a happy heart

*a cold glass of iced tea

*anticipation

*opportunity

*freshly cut hair, doesn't it always feel and look better?

***************

How are you blessed?

Related articles

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• Michelle Malkin " The Fog of Fog (kajunman.wordpress.com)


• Showcase of Fabulous Foggy Photographs (noupe.com)


• The process of writing my cookbook (mychocolethandbag.wordpress.com)


• Foggy Morning sunrise (redsleddog.wordpress.com)


• Foggy Sunday morning (run4joy59.wordpress.com)

When You Can't See Through The Fog

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="159" caption="Image by BrendonPG via Flickr"][/caption]

I've got a million things to do today...and not enough time to get it all done.

It's very foggy this morning--like pea soup, foggy. There is sun on the other side of the fog. I see it peeking through in spots.

It reminds me of life.

Sometimes things can look "foggy".  I wonder how in the world everything is going to work out? It's difficult to see into the future. But, then the SON peeks through the fog...and things start to take shape. This is not to say that everything works out perfectly, at least not by my standards. At least not by what I know. I don't (can't) always see the big picture. I can only see what is right in front of my face.

That is where trust comes in.

Sometimes, that is all I have to give.

Trust.

And really, that is all I need.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
   and he will direct your paths.  Proverbs 3:5-6  NIV

*****************

*beautiful sun through the fog

*another fresh, new week

*quiet, early morning

*reading the Father's Day cards that the kids gave

*a happy heart

*a cold glass of iced tea

*anticipation

*opportunity

*freshly cut hair, doesn't it always feel and look better?

***************

How are you blessed?

Related articles

• Foggy Weather! (sydspix.wordpress.com)


• Foggy Brain Quick Fixes (fitsugar.com)


• Another foggy day in Nova Scotia Paradise (roxanebay.wordpress.com)


• Michelle Malkin " The Fog of Fog (kajunman.wordpress.com)


• Showcase of Fabulous Foggy Photographs (noupe.com)


• The process of writing my cookbook (mychocolethandbag.wordpress.com)


• Foggy Morning sunrise (redsleddog.wordpress.com)


• Foggy Sunday morning (run4joy59.wordpress.com)

My Father's Day Gift

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Image by alex drennan via Flickr"][/caption]

Today at Faith Barista we are talking about Father's Day.

Bonnie told us to write on the topic

however we chose, just keep it real.

So that is what I am doing....


*****************

Some of us had difficult relationships with our fathers

When we weren't "daddy's little girl"

When words were said

and feelings hurt.

And although he was there,

he wasn't. Not really.

For times he chose others over my sister and me.

Maybe we just didn't understand each other.

And yet...

I am thankful for the years he provided for his family

and gave routine and predictability to the day.

I do have good memories too.

I wish there had been more.

I wish he had chosen to live.

To see me... and my sister.

To see his grandchildren.

To know and understand that

Fatherhood is important.

I could choose to burden myself with the "Why?" questions

but, the answers would echo cold

in the void, left behind.

Instead, I have chosen forgiveness

As much for me as for him.

To forgive him,

even now, years gone

is my Father's Day gift

to him

and to myself.

R.I.P

Dad.

Related articles

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• Last Minute Father's Day Gifts (whoisandywarner.com)


• Forgiving and Forgetting (churchinaction.wordpress.com)


• "Can You Forgive Too Much?" (babyjill7.wordpress.com)


• Some Fun Facts for Father's Day (Infographic) (bradsdeals.com)


• TodayI...Planned for Father's Day! (meltodayi.wordpress.com)


• Dad's Get Dissed on Father's Day (livescience.com)


• Daddy Knows Best, What I've Learned From My Father (hellobeautiful.com)


• NASCAR drivers balancing fatherhood, dangerous livelihood (cbssports.com)


• Fatherless on Father's Day (lowercaseliving.wordpress.com)


• Irreplaceable (thiscouldgetugly.wordpress.com)

My Father's Day Gift

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Image by alex drennan via Flickr"][/caption]

Today at Faith Barista we are talking about Father's Day.

Bonnie told us to write on the topic

however we chose, just keep it real.

So that is what I am doing....


*****************

Some of us had difficult relationships with our fathers

When we weren't "daddy's little girl"

When words were said

and feelings hurt.

And although he was there,

he wasn't. Not really.

For times he chose others over my sister and me.

Maybe we just didn't understand each other.

And yet...

I am thankful for the years he provided for his family

and gave routine and predictability to the day.

I do have good memories too.

I wish there had been more.

I wish he had chosen to live.

To see me... and my sister.

To see his grandchildren.

To know and understand that

Fatherhood is important.

I could choose to burden myself with the "Why?" questions

but, the answers would echo cold

in the void, left behind.

Instead, I have chosen forgiveness

As much for me as for him.

To forgive him,

even now, years gone

is my Father's Day gift

to him

and to myself.

R.I.P

Dad.

Related articles

• Freedom For Father's Day (forjenssake.wordpress.com)


• Last Minute Father's Day Gifts (whoisandywarner.com)


• Forgiving and Forgetting (churchinaction.wordpress.com)


• "Can You Forgive Too Much?" (babyjill7.wordpress.com)


• Some Fun Facts for Father's Day (Infographic) (bradsdeals.com)


• TodayI...Planned for Father's Day! (meltodayi.wordpress.com)


• Dad's Get Dissed on Father's Day (livescience.com)


• Daddy Knows Best, What I've Learned From My Father (hellobeautiful.com)


• NASCAR drivers balancing fatherhood, dangerous livelihood (cbssports.com)


• Fatherless on Father's Day (lowercaseliving.wordpress.com)


• Irreplaceable (thiscouldgetugly.wordpress.com)

Hiking The Canyon

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia"][/caption]

Today, Ann Voskamp  has us posting about being Christ-centric in her Walk With Him Wednesdays.


Ouch.

How do OTHERS see Jesus in me? DO they see Jesus in me?

My hope is that they do but...

I'm not perfect. I don't always have the words to say. I lose my temper. I want my own way. I wish things were different. I complain. Not very Jesus-like, huh?

Words like FAILURE, MISTAKE, and UNWORTHY come to mind. I wear them around my neck, like ID tags. Don't you recognize me? I'm the one that is unworthy to bear the name of Christ. The woman that stumbles under the weight of her own perceptions.

How many times have I used the excuse that I am having a "bad day" to gripe at my husband, snip at my kids, or yell at the dog? I begrudgingly vacuum the rugs, clean the toilets, wash the clothes and fix the evening meal. I clean messes that I didn't make, say things I didn't mean, and make it my mission, on certain days, to not be joyful.  Thoughts run through my mind like a broken tape recorder.  On some days I feel the bitterness creep in... don't I deserve more than this?

The fissure in a soul can break wide open and leave a canyon between what is known and what is done.

Be more like Christ...   "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32 NAS

Just as Christ has forgiven me. The words echo deep in the canyon... bouncing off the walls of my heart. Forgive them.

Be more like Christ...  "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."  Philippians 4:8  NAS

Dwell on these things. Even the deepness of a canyon can be beautiful, when the sun shines on rough rock. It is difficult to complain if I am concentrating on lovely things. I can make that choice.

Be more like Christ...  "The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 145:8  ESV

Showing grace and mercy, the anger drains from me. Let it go!  Anger and bitterness kill the spirit of the one that holds on to them, and I can die from thirst if I can't find my way off the canyon floor, to the life giving water.

Being more Christ like is not easy...but, Jesus Himself said it would be worth it. So, I continue hiking out of the canyon.

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• Somewhere between the heavenly and the hellish . . . (hopeofglory.typepad.com)


• Grand Canyon day & night - Grand Canyon Village, AZ (travelpod.com)


• Blessed "Be" attitudes :: Be Merciful (thepauls.wordpress.com)


• Why is it necessary to pray for 'forgiveness of our sins' if Jesus took all our sins away from us (wiki.answers.com)


• A New Creation (gibsongirl247.wordpress.com)


• A Word for the Weary (traskman.wordpress.com)

Hiking The Canyon

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia"][/caption]

Today, Ann Voskamp  has us posting about being Christ-centric in her Walk With Him Wednesdays.


Ouch.

How do OTHERS see Jesus in me? DO they see Jesus in me?

My hope is that they do but...

I'm not perfect. I don't always have the words to say. I lose my temper. I want my own way. I wish things were different. I complain. Not very Jesus-like, huh?

Words like FAILURE, MISTAKE, and UNWORTHY come to mind. I wear them around my neck, like ID tags. Don't you recognize me? I'm the one that is unworthy to bear the name of Christ. The woman that stumbles under the weight of her own perceptions.

How many times have I used the excuse that I am having a "bad day" to gripe at my husband, snip at my kids, or yell at the dog? I begrudgingly vacuum the rugs, clean the toilets, wash the clothes and fix the evening meal. I clean messes that I didn't make, say things I didn't mean, and make it my mission, on certain days, to not be joyful.  Thoughts run through my mind like a broken tape recorder.  On some days I feel the bitterness creep in... don't I deserve more than this?

The fissure in a soul can break wide open and leave a canyon between what is known and what is done.

Be more like Christ...   "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32 NAS

Just as Christ has forgiven me. The words echo deep in the canyon... bouncing off the walls of my heart. Forgive them.

Be more like Christ...  "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."  Philippians 4:8  NAS

Dwell on these things. Even the deepness of a canyon can be beautiful, when the sun shines on rough rock. It is difficult to complain if I am concentrating on lovely things. I can make that choice.

Be more like Christ...  "The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 145:8  ESV

Showing grace and mercy, the anger drains from me. Let it go!  Anger and bitterness kill the spirit of the one that holds on to them, and I can die from thirst if I can't find my way off the canyon floor, to the life giving water.

Being more Christ like is not easy...but, Jesus Himself said it would be worth it. So, I continue hiking out of the canyon.

Related articles

• Good to go: Marrakech, Grand Canyon, Ibiza (independent.co.uk)


• Grand Canyon and Bryce Canyon (arizonaroadtrip.wordpress.com)


• Sunrise at the Grand Canyon - Grand Canyon National Park, AZ (travelpod.com)


• Somewhere between the heavenly and the hellish . . . (hopeofglory.typepad.com)


• Grand Canyon day & night - Grand Canyon Village, AZ (travelpod.com)


• Blessed "Be" attitudes :: Be Merciful (thepauls.wordpress.com)


• Why is it necessary to pray for 'forgiveness of our sins' if Jesus took all our sins away from us (wiki.answers.com)


• A New Creation (gibsongirl247.wordpress.com)


• A Word for the Weary (traskman.wordpress.com)

God Is In The Storms

He covers the sky with clouds; he supplies the earth with rain and makes grass grow on the hills.  Psalm 147:8  NIV

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• Filled to Overflowing (pttyann2.wordpress.com)


• Rapture Alert System (christinepechstein.wordpress.com)


• Tests (ebonywomanofgrace.com)


• Private Breakthroughs (lisafriesen.wordpress.com)


• Navigating the storms of life with God at the helm (toddfitchette.wordpress.com)


• God, Are You There? (gibsongirl247.wordpress.com)

A New Creation

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia"][/caption]

This is the third post I've attempted this morning. The other two posts I saved for another day.

Over at A Holy Experience we are talking about new life. What does this mean to me?



I thought I might write something bookish or scholarly...but, it fell flat.

So, I've decided to just be blunt. Plain. Open my heart. Tell about new life, in the only way I know how.

Living a new life in Christ...as a follower of Jesus.

Jesus. The name above all names.

"Therefore, God exalted Him to the highest place and gave Him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Philippians 2:9-11 NIV

The Jewish people called him, Yeshua. As a Christian, I call Him God's Son. King of kings. Lord of lords. The Light of the world. Messiah. Passover lamb. Rock of ages. Shepherd. The Alpha and the Omega. The Way. The Truth. The Life. The living Word. Wonderful Counselor. The Prince of Peace.

He came to this earth as a baby. He walked this earth as a Jewish man. Began His ministry. Boldly proclaimed that He is the Son of the living God. He spoke wisdom, performed miracles, and changed people's lives. Yahweh. God in the flesh. Sacrificed for me. For you. For us all. There is nothing I could have done to save myself. I was unworthy. I needed a Savior. A Redeemer. And yet, His love for me, for us, was so great that ..... He died in my place. He rose again. Is living today, and will one day return.

It is because of Jesus' sacrifice, the fact that He took my place, that I have new life. It is because of Him that I have hope. It is because of Him that I have peace. It is because of Him that I have assurance. There is nothing else in this world that can take His place. Everything else falls flat and empty. It is only through Him that I do not just survive, but truly live.

My life is changed... all because of Him.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation" the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV

Do you know Jesus? Not just as a historical character. Not just as a Jewish carpenter. Not just as a character in the Bible. But, as Jesus, the Son of the living God. He wants to know you.

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in..."  Revelation 3:20 NIV

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• Jesus Christ is YAHWEH (liveeternally.wordpress.com)


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• Just Twice A Year (thewritelife2.wordpress.com)

Giving Thanks In The Midst Of

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia"][/caption]

I heard the rain and wind last night

Only semi-awake in the dark of the night

A fleeting thought of stormy weather

As I changed my sleeping position

I woke to the early morning news of more people hurt

more buildings demolished

more lives destroyed

more people gone...just gone

never to return

Those who have lost so much in the deadly winds

Why them? Why not me?

Is it right for me to give thanks on this Monday, when so many are hurting? Lost? Devastated?

I quietly sit at the table

and stare at my computer screen.

Images from the news seared into my thoughts

My heart aches.

*thankful that more people weren't hurt or injured

*for friends and neighbors who reach out their hands

*for those who come to help

*for the human spirit

*for not giving up

*for pressing on

*for trying one more time

*for surviving

*for God, who is still there

Some of us have not gone through the utter devastation of a tornado, but we have lost loved ones. Some of us have never huddled through the howling winds, but we have huddled in fear of losing everything from job loss. Some of us have never watched as our house was torn apart, but we understand fire, floods, or theft. We haven't stood in terror watching the storm approach, but we understand the terror of a deadly diagnosis.

Storms of life come in all shapes and sizes.

I am thankful that God loves us, that He cares for us through ALL of life's storms.

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.  Psalm 18:2 NIV

What are some things you are thankful for this Monday?

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Life Bursting At The Seams

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Yesterday was my birthday. Today is the first day of my new year. The excitement. The possibilities...are endless.

The old year is gone. Never to return. Each birthday is a sort of rebirth, isn't it?  Try new things. Be creative. Get better. Smile more. Love more. Laugh out loud.

It's a chance to learn more.  Although I love books, I'm not talking about word knowledge.

*There is a difference between wisdom and knowledge

*Sometimes taking a step back from a situation, is really moving forward

*Being a good speaker, is more than just knowing the words to say

*Being able to say "I'm sorry"...two of the most important words in the English language

*Understanding that life is not a dress rehearsal

*Remembering that there is no one like me

*Life isn't an emergency

*Slow down, rushing around just makes me unnecessarily frazzled

*Love people

*Smile a lot

*Don't be afraid to share my heart

*It is not necessary to say everything I'm thinking

*Really understanding, "This too shall pass"

*Believing that God knows and loves me--on a daily basis

*Sometimes life hurts, embrace this without letting it destroy me

*Jesus walks with me

*Life is short, no matter how long I live

*I need to live my life in light of eternity

*Serve with joy

Proverbs 4:6-7
Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. (NIV)

Psalm 107:43
Whoever is wise, let him heed these things and consider the great love of the LORD. (NIV)

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God, Can I Pencil You In?

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Calendars. To do lists. Schedules. Clocks.

I'm the type of personality that likes to keep things in order.

I like surprises...if it's a party. Not so much, if it's a life circumstance that I'm not ready for.

And yet...

I serve a God who is not chained to calendars or clocks.

His ways are not my ways. His thoughts are not my thoughts.

He does not consult my Daytimer to see if I can fit His plans into my schedule.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8 NIV

I'll be honest with you. When Bonnie, at Faith Barista, posed the question, "  What is something new God is asking you to step out in?", I wasn't sure what to write.

The truth is I've been through a lot of what most people would call "challenging" circumstances, in my life time. I'll also be completely forthright with you by saying that there are many times when I say to God, " You know Lord, I really am worn out....can't I just 'coast' for a little while? You know, nothing too good, nothing too bad...just easy. Puh-leeze?"

I'm glad that God loves me enough to not let me sit around and grow stagnant. Even if that seems okay with me, at the time.

A former pastor of mine said something that has always stuck with me. We are either in the middle of a trial, getting ready to go into a trial, or we just came out of a trial. That is life.....and he is correct.  It is usually when I'm "in the fire" that I learn something new about God...something life changing for me.

I don't know what new thing God is wanting me to step out into....at least not yet. I believe I'm in a waiting stage right now. Many times it is the waiting that grows me. The uncertainty that draws me to Him. The dependence on God, that through my weaknesses, He will be glorified.

There are a list of things I want to do. New things I'd like to try. Maybe those desires are seeds that God Himself has planted in my heart. It could be He wants to grow me for awhile longer. At times the waiting is difficult. I struggle. I'd like to schedule things into my life. But, God says no, not yet.

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40:31  NIV

And so I wait.

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The Wonder Of It All

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A few nights ago my son and I were out in the front yard. It was a beautiful spring evening. The sun was low in the sky, spreading it's warm rays across the yard. One of the dogs was laying in the grass, watching us as we walked down the driveway to inspect the killdeer eggs. A mama killdeer picked the edge of our driveway to make her nest. Her unborn babies are nestled into the gravels, near the grass, perfectly disguised in nature. One really has to look to see them.

As we got closer to her "hide out", she jumped up and squawked at us. She puffed her self up to show us all her feathers. It was as if she was trying to pick a fight with us. "Come and get me!" she chirped. Killdeer are interesting that way. Mama bird distracts the enemy from the nest. She gets the enemy to follow her by getting his attention, then running off and pretending her wing is damaged. "Oh, I'm hurt...why don't you try and come and eat me?" She screeches even louder. My son and I followed her to the end of the driveway. She ran out onto the road and at the last minute flew away...only to circle back around to check and make sure we were not heading back to the nest.

Living where we do, we see a lot of nature...up close and personal. Birds and their nests, geese honking, in the spring rain pond, across the road, a ground hog that has made a home in the bank next to the creek, and deer bounding across the open fields. The sun shines brightly, while the wind bows the tall grass of the fields into submission. Life is all around us. Spring time birth.

Sometimes I just have to stop and ponder the wonder of it all.

The God who sets all things in motion, who sends the rain and the wind, who created the animals, and has the sun set in space...all of nature cries out to exclaim the glory and wonder of God.

Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let the sea resound, and all that is in it.
 Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy. Psalm 96: 11-12 NIV

 “Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the
Lord!”“Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”
  Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”
  “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.” Luke 19: 38-40

God has done all of these things and so much more and yet He knows me. Me. He doesn't just sort of know me. He didn't create me and leave me.  He not only knows me, He longs for me to know Him...and for you to know Him too.

Let that sink in for a moment.

God, each Spring, resurrects life. He covers the hills with new, emerald green grass, wildflowers in all their beauty, nature is new again...and fresh and beautiful.

That is what He does with me too. God is intimately involved in my daily life. He breathes new life into a dry spirit, after a long, dark winter. He comforts me, much like the mama bird who defends and protects her not yet born, children. There is new, fresh joy at the knowledge of His love.

Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings... Psalm 17:8

I have to stop and consider the wonder of it all.

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Living Out What Easter Means

"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me, though he dies, yet shall he live."  John 11:25

How many of us have stood over a casket, looking down at one we loved?

Tears leaking down our cheeks...already missing the one that is gone.

The body so still. The breath has ceased. The lids now closed.

Burial. In the ground. Dirt covered.

And we weep.

And yet...

Jesus' words ring out in the darkness. The darkness of hopelessness. The darkness of fear. The darkness of death.

I am the resurrection.

and the life.  Alive again. Living. Breathing. In glory.

Jesus saith unto him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." (John 14:6)

He who believes in me, though he dies,

yet shall he live. Shall live. With Him. Forever. Real. Oh, so real.

No more heart hurt, no more rampant cancer, no more diseased body, no more accidents, no more shallow breathing, no more depression, no more pain, no more poor vision, no more sickness...

No more.

Believe in Me, Jesus whispers to our souls.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him, shall have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

Jesus says,

I have conquered death. I have taken your place.


It is finished. Words that echo through the ages.


How is Easter real to you? Not only on a Sunday in April...but, all year long?

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He Is Risen!

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He is risen! He is risen indeed!

and because He lives, I can face tomorrow.

Jesus conquered death...forever.

Hallelujah!

A Perfect Plan

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I'm portraying Mary (mother of Jesus) in an Easter monologue, this weekend.

Mary had the heart of a mother, when she admitted that she did not understand the purpose of Jesus' death. She knew He was the son of God, and yet she watched Him be hung on a cross to die. To die. Her heart bled out, along with her son's. She knew He was God, but He was also her son...whom she loved. "Why, God? Why? It doesn't make sense to me!"

Today, on the way home from a short trip into town, I was practicing my lines. Her words, so much she did not understand, echo back to my own heart. So much, I do not understand. I have the blessing of knowing that death was not the end for Jesus. I am able to celebrate the resurrection that followed. At the time, right after the crucifixion, Mary did not know.....yet.

Yet.

Isn't that like so many of us? God does something in our lives...and we question Him. We shake our fists. We cry out. It's not fair! Why me? I don't understand. What is the purpose?

God in His infinite wisdom knows. Nothing comes as a surprise to Him. He is never caught off guard.

If God was small enough for me to understand Him (a woman who doesn't understand her own computer), He wouldn't be much of a God now, would He?  I cannot put God in a box.  Sometimes He does things that seem like they don't make sense...at least not to my human, finite mind. I feel very much like Mary, standing in the dark on that day, wondering why? I am grateful that God does not require my permission to complete His plan.

(Jesus) "Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Matthew 26:39  NIV

So, this Easter I will celebrate God's plan. A holy plan. A perfect plan. A plan that took His Son to the cross, to pay the price...for me. That's how much He loves you...and me. Redeemed by the blood of the lamb. The pure and blameless sacrifice...

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You Took My Place

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia The quiet moments. The times of reflection. The times of remembrance."][/caption]

The quiet moments. The moments of thought and reflection.

Sacrifice. Pain. Tears.

"Crucify Him! Crucify Him!"  The crowds of so long ago, shouted. Their voices echo through time... I cannot blame them. They were imperfect sinners. Just like me. I was in that crowd.

My sin crucified my Lord. It wasn't just "other people". It was me. My sin, put Him there. His love for me, kept Him there.

Selfishness! The slam of the hammer, as the nails pierced His flesh.

Pride! His face twisted in agony.

Resentment! The burden on His shoulders.

Bitterness! The blood dripped down.

God, forgive me. Please forgive me.

***************

You Took My Place

The thorns on your head

blood, runs red.

You hung on a Roman cross

for sin not your own,

the pain unbearable

the sounds of your groan.

You could have called angels to deliver you, free

but you stayed there...you stayed there for me.

"Father forgive her

She doesn't know!"

You saw me, you knew me

before time began,

you hung on that cross

the Savior of man.

You took the blame

You bore my shame.

Jesus my Lord, You took my place

knowing your sacrifice

your gift of grace...

Would deliver me from

death...and its dark face.

The stone rolled away

You are alive, no longer dead!

You stand victorious

Just like you said!

---Dawn Gibson 2011

Won't you join us, as we walk with Him?

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