Showing posts with label Christ. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christ. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

When Walking In Pain



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Image by 竜次 ryuuji via Flickr"]crying in the party[/caption]


This week we are continuing to talk about being Christ-centric.

Making Christ our center.

Keeping Him in the center of each day.

In the center of a life.


**************

I've been thinking about pain, lately...

I cut my knee the other day. It bled a lot and it hurt.

I had a headache earlier this week and it made my neck stiff.

I don't like pain. I don't like to hurt. I try to shun it at all costs, if I can't do that,  I learn to tolerate it.  Sometimes pain doesn't show itself in a bloody knee, or a sore neck. Sometimes it shows itself, in ways that hurt to much to talk about.

Some days it is easier to deny the pain.

For awhile.

But then I'm forced to deal with it. Not always well. I struggle.

I am alone in my thoughts.

Isn't that the way of the human heart?

The thoughts rush through me, much like a tsunami. I wonder if this is what it feels like to drown?

...A friend who is watching the son she once knew, slip away to a confusing medical diagnosis--and doctors who don't hear her.

...Another friend who has to put his dear wife in a nursing home because her care has become to much for him

...A friend whose husband was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's, at 46

...A marriage dissolves

...A family that sits in an emergency room

...An unplanned pregancy

...Broken family bonds

...Poor decisions

...Hours cut at the job, when one is barely making ends meet

...A family member whose body is worn down from cancer treatments

...A widow, whose husband was taken from her by a man with a gun

And the list goes on.

Pain. Stinging pain.

How do I live a Christ centered life...how do I show Christ to others, when there is so much pain?

When the heart is burdened and the tears build

When an answer isn't given

When nothing seems to make sense

When facing the dashing of dreams

or the certainty of death...

I want Christ in the center.

I want Him not just near me. I want to be full of Him.

I want to be reminded that I do not walk alone.

I need to remember that nothing can separate me from Him. Nothing.

38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8: 38-39

AMEN

When Walking In Pain



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Image by 竜次 ryuuji via Flickr"]crying in the party[/caption]


This week we are continuing to talk about being Christ-centric.

Making Christ our center.

Keeping Him in the center of each day.

In the center of a life.


**************

I've been thinking about pain, lately...

I cut my knee the other day. It bled a lot and it hurt.

I had a headache earlier this week and it made my neck stiff.

I don't like pain. I don't like to hurt. I try to shun it at all costs, if I can't do that,  I learn to tolerate it.  Sometimes pain doesn't show itself in a bloody knee, or a sore neck. Sometimes it shows itself, in ways that hurt to much to talk about.

Some days it is easier to deny the pain.

For awhile.

But then I'm forced to deal with it. Not always well. I struggle.

I am alone in my thoughts.

Isn't that the way of the human heart?

The thoughts rush through me, much like a tsunami. I wonder if this is what it feels like to drown?

...A friend who is watching the son she once knew, slip away to a confusing medical diagnosis--and doctors who don't hear her.

...Another friend who has to put his dear wife in a nursing home because her care has become to much for him

...A friend whose husband was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's, at 46

...A marriage dissolves

...A family that sits in an emergency room

...An unplanned pregancy

...Broken family bonds

...Poor decisions

...Hours cut at the job, when one is barely making ends meet

...A family member whose body is worn down from cancer treatments

...A widow, whose husband was taken from her by a man with a gun

And the list goes on.

Pain. Stinging pain.

How do I live a Christ centered life...how do I show Christ to others, when there is so much pain?

When the heart is burdened and the tears build

When an answer isn't given

When nothing seems to make sense

When facing the dashing of dreams

or the certainty of death...

I want Christ in the center.

I want Him not just near me. I want to be full of Him.

I want to be reminded that I do not walk alone.

I need to remember that nothing can separate me from Him. Nothing.

38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8: 38-39

AMEN

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Hiking The Canyon



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia"]Grand Canyon, from South Rim near Visitor Center[/caption]


Today, Ann Voskamp  has us posting about being Christ-centric in her Walk With Him Wednesdays.


Ouch.

How do OTHERS see Jesus in me? DO they see Jesus in me?

My hope is that they do but...

I'm not perfect. I don't always have the words to say. I lose my temper. I want my own way. I wish things were different. I complain. Not very Jesus-like, huh?

Words like FAILURE, MISTAKE, and UNWORTHY come to mind. I wear them around my neck, like ID tags. Don't you recognize me? I'm the one that is unworthy to bear the name of Christ. The woman that stumbles under the weight of her own perceptions.

How many times have I used the excuse that I am having a "bad day" to gripe at my husband, snip at my kids, or yell at the dog? I begrudgingly vacuum the rugs, clean the toilets, wash the clothes and fix the evening meal. I clean messes that I didn't make, say things I didn't mean, and make it my mission, on certain days, to not be joyful.  Thoughts run through my mind like a broken tape recorder.  On some days I feel the bitterness creep in... don't I deserve more than this?

The fissure in a soul can break wide open and leave a canyon between what is known and what is done.

Be more like Christ...   "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32 NAS

Just as Christ has forgiven me. The words echo deep in the canyon... bouncing off the walls of my heart. Forgive them.

Be more like Christ...  "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."  Philippians 4:8  NAS

Dwell on these things. Even the deepness of a canyon can be beautiful, when the sun shines on rough rock. It is difficult to complain if I am concentrating on lovely things. I can make that choice.

Be more like Christ...  "The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 145:8  ESV


Showing grace and mercy, the anger drains from me. Let it go!  Anger and bitterness kill the spirit of the one that holds on to them, and I can die from thirst if I can't find my way off the canyon floor, to the life giving water.

Being more Christ like is not easy...but, Jesus Himself said it would be worth it. So, I continue hiking out of the canyon.

Hiking The Canyon



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia"]Grand Canyon, from South Rim near Visitor Center[/caption]


Today, Ann Voskamp  has us posting about being Christ-centric in her Walk With Him Wednesdays.


Ouch.

How do OTHERS see Jesus in me? DO they see Jesus in me?

My hope is that they do but...

I'm not perfect. I don't always have the words to say. I lose my temper. I want my own way. I wish things were different. I complain. Not very Jesus-like, huh?

Words like FAILURE, MISTAKE, and UNWORTHY come to mind. I wear them around my neck, like ID tags. Don't you recognize me? I'm the one that is unworthy to bear the name of Christ. The woman that stumbles under the weight of her own perceptions.

How many times have I used the excuse that I am having a "bad day" to gripe at my husband, snip at my kids, or yell at the dog? I begrudgingly vacuum the rugs, clean the toilets, wash the clothes and fix the evening meal. I clean messes that I didn't make, say things I didn't mean, and make it my mission, on certain days, to not be joyful.  Thoughts run through my mind like a broken tape recorder.  On some days I feel the bitterness creep in... don't I deserve more than this?

The fissure in a soul can break wide open and leave a canyon between what is known and what is done.

Be more like Christ...   "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:32 NAS

Just as Christ has forgiven me. The words echo deep in the canyon... bouncing off the walls of my heart. Forgive them.

Be more like Christ...  "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."  Philippians 4:8  NAS

Dwell on these things. Even the deepness of a canyon can be beautiful, when the sun shines on rough rock. It is difficult to complain if I am concentrating on lovely things. I can make that choice.

Be more like Christ...  "The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 145:8  ESV


Showing grace and mercy, the anger drains from me. Let it go!  Anger and bitterness kill the spirit of the one that holds on to them, and I can die from thirst if I can't find my way off the canyon floor, to the life giving water.

Being more Christ like is not easy...but, Jesus Himself said it would be worth it. So, I continue hiking out of the canyon.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

God Is In The Storms












He covers the sky with clouds; he supplies the earth with rain and makes grass grow on the hills.  Psalm 147:8  NIV

Thursday, May 19, 2011

I Quit



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="105" caption="Image via Wikipedia"]Quit It[/caption]


Today at Faith Barista we are discussing--- To quit or not to quit.  Share your thoughts or experience on quitting something or not quitting something.


FaithBarista_FreshJamBadgeG


I don't consider myself a quitter. It's not a word that describes who I am.

If I've started something, I will finish it. Or at least give it a very good try.

But....

I'm quitting.

Yes, you heard me.

*I'm quitting...the fear of not measuring up

*I'm quitting...the paralyzing grip of perfection

*I'm quitting...the thinking that I am in control

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7  NIV

I'll stop worrying about what others might think of me. The truth is, most people are too busy worrying about their own stuff to think about me. I don't mean that in a bad way. I have many people in this life, that love me dearly and care for me without regret. I just mean, they don't really care if I'm wearing yoga pants today instead of khaki's. Or if I fix the same meal, twice in one week, or  if I don't sweep up all the dog fur from under the dining room table where it gets trapped like tumbleweeds in the desert.

I'll stop worrying if my house isn't like a picture out of House Beautiful. Perfection does not mean, not messy. People live here... 24 hours a day. We work from home, and school at home, and love at home. All those things don't fit in my nice containers. (Even if those containers are the cutest things ever!) As the keeper of the home, the house is a reflection on me....may it reflect a family that lives with and loves each other.

I'll stop believing that all my plans in life will work out perfectly. Life is fragile, and I'm fooling myself if I ever thought for one second that I was the one in control.

My life is not my own. It is Christ who lives in me.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galations 2:20 NIV

And all I do is for that audience of One.




Thursday, May 12, 2011

God, Can I Pencil You In?



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia"]Spiral (double helix) stairs of the Vatican Mu...[/caption]


Calendars. To do lists. Schedules. Clocks.

I'm the type of personality that likes to keep things in order.

I like surprises...if it's a party. Not so much, if it's a life circumstance that I'm not ready for.

And yet...

I serve a God who is not chained to calendars or clocks.

His ways are not my ways. His thoughts are not my thoughts.

He does not consult my Daytimer to see if I can fit His plans into my schedule.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8 NIV

I'll be honest with you. When Bonnie, at Faith Barista, posed the question, "  What is something new God is asking you to step out in?", I wasn't sure what to write.

The truth is I've been through a lot of what most people would call "challenging" circumstances, in my life time. I'll also be completely forthright with you by saying that there are many times when I say to God, " You know Lord, I really am worn out....can't I just 'coast' for a little while? You know, nothing too good, nothing too bad...just easy. Puh-leeze?"

I'm glad that God loves me enough to not let me sit around and grow stagnant. Even if that seems okay with me, at the time.

A former pastor of mine said something that has always stuck with me. We are either in the middle of a trial, getting ready to go into a trial, or we just came out of a trial. That is life.....and he is correct.  It is usually when I'm "in the fire" that I learn something new about God...something life changing for me.

I don't know what new thing God is wanting me to step out into....at least not yet. I believe I'm in a waiting stage right now. Many times it is the waiting that grows me. The uncertainty that draws me to Him. The dependence on God, that through my weaknesses, He will be glorified.

There are a list of things I want to do. New things I'd like to try. Maybe those desires are seeds that God Himself has planted in my heart. It could be He wants to grow me for awhile longer. At times the waiting is difficult. I struggle. I'd like to schedule things into my life. But, God says no, not yet.

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  Isaiah 40:31  NIV

And so I wait.

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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Living Out What Easter Means

The Greatest Promise of God

"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me, though he dies, yet shall he live."  John 11:25

How many of us have stood over a casket, looking down at one we loved?

Tears leaking down our cheeks...already missing the one that is gone.

The body so still. The breath has ceased. The lids now closed.

Burial. In the ground. Dirt covered.

And we weep.

And yet...

Jesus' words ring out in the darkness. The darkness of hopelessness. The darkness of fear. The darkness of death.

I am the resurrection.

and the life.  Alive again. Living. Breathing. In glory.

Jesus saith unto him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." (John 14:6)

He who believes in me, though he dies,

yet shall he live. Shall live. With Him. Forever. Real. Oh, so real.

No more heart hurt, no more rampant cancer, no more diseased body, no more accidents, no more shallow breathing, no more depression, no more pain, no more poor vision, no more sickness...

No more.

Believe in Me, Jesus whispers to our souls.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him, shall have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

Jesus says,

I have conquered death. I have taken your place.


It is finished. Words that echo through the ages.


How is Easter real to you? Not only on a Sunday in April...but, all year long?



Thursday, April 21, 2011

A Perfect Plan



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia"]Reenacting the Stations of the Cross in Jerusa...[/caption]


I'm portraying Mary (mother of Jesus) in an Easter monologue, this weekend.

Mary had the heart of a mother, when she admitted that she did not understand the purpose of Jesus' death. She knew He was the son of God, and yet she watched Him be hung on a cross to die. To die. Her heart bled out, along with her son's. She knew He was God, but He was also her son...whom she loved. "Why, God? Why? It doesn't make sense to me!"

Today, on the way home from a short trip into town, I was practicing my lines. Her words, so much she did not understand, echo back to my own heart. So much, I do not understand. I have the blessing of knowing that death was not the end for Jesus. I am able to celebrate the resurrection that followed. At the time, right after the crucifixion, Mary did not know.....yet.

Yet.

Isn't that like so many of us? God does something in our lives...and we question Him. We shake our fists. We cry out. It's not fair! Why me? I don't understand. What is the purpose?

God in His infinite wisdom knows. Nothing comes as a surprise to Him. He is never caught off guard.

If God was small enough for me to understand Him (a woman who doesn't understand her own computer), He wouldn't be much of a God now, would He?  I cannot put God in a box.  Sometimes He does things that seem like they don't make sense...at least not to my human, finite mind. I feel very much like Mary, standing in the dark on that day, wondering why? I am grateful that God does not require my permission to complete His plan.

(Jesus) "Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Matthew 26:39  NIV

So, this Easter I will celebrate God's plan. A holy plan. A perfect plan. A plan that took His Son to the cross, to pay the price...for me. That's how much He loves you...and me. Redeemed by the blood of the lamb. The pure and blameless sacrifice...

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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

You Took My Place



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia The quiet moments. The times of reflection. The times of remembrance."]The Passion of the Christ[/caption]


The quiet moments. The moments of thought and reflection.

Sacrifice. Pain. Tears.

"Crucify Him! Crucify Him!"  The crowds of so long ago, shouted. Their voices echo through time... I cannot blame them. They were imperfect sinners. Just like me. I was in that crowd.

My sin crucified my Lord. It wasn't just "other people". It was me. My sin, put Him there. His love for me, kept Him there.

Selfishness! The slam of the hammer, as the nails pierced His flesh.

Pride! His face twisted in agony.

Resentment! The burden on His shoulders.

Bitterness! The blood dripped down.

God, forgive me. Please forgive me.

***************

You Took My Place

The thorns on your head

blood, runs red.

You hung on a Roman cross

for sin not your own,

the pain unbearable

the sounds of your groan.

You could have called angels to deliver you, free

but you stayed there...you stayed there for me.

"Father forgive her

She doesn't know!"

You saw me, you knew me

before time began,

you hung on that cross

the Savior of man.

You took the blame

You bore my shame.

Jesus my Lord, You took my place

knowing your sacrifice

your gift of grace...

Would deliver me from

death...and its dark face.

The stone rolled away

You are alive, no longer dead!

You stand victorious

Just like you said!

---Dawn Gibson 2011

Won't you join us, as we walk with Him?



Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Day Death Died



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Image by stevenconger@sbcglobal.net via Flickr"]Garden Tomb 02[/caption]


It did not end with Jesus in the grave. The tomb could not hold him. Death could not conquer him. On the third day he arose! Just like he said he would.

A favorite hymn of Easter....

LOW IN THE GRAVE HE LAY




  1. Low in the grave He lay,
    Jesus my Savior,
    Waiting the coming day,
    Jesus my Lord!

    • Refrain:
      Up from the grave He arose,
      With a mighty triumph o’er His foes,
      He arose a Victor from the dark domain,
      And He lives forever, with His saints to reign.
      He arose! He arose!
      Hallelujah! Christ arose!



  2. Vainly they watch His bed,
    Jesus my Savior;
    Vainly they seal the dead,
    Jesus my Lord!

  3. Death cannot keep its Prey,
    Jesus my Savior;
    He tore the bars away,
    Jesus my Lord!





1 Peter 1:18-20 For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. 20 He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. (NIV)

Matthew 28:7   "Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

HE HAS RISEN!  HE HAS RISEN INDEED!


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Are You Living In Friday?



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Cover of He Lives"]Cover of "He Lives"[/caption]


The most holy, pivotal celebration, to the life of a Christian......Easter.

On that Friday Jesus hung on a rugged, Roman cross

The Savior between two common thieves

He was mocked and insulted

The clouds darkened...

He asked His Father

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

The day was full of anguish

and pain.

He cried out

"It is finished!"

The curtain in the temple tore from top to bottom.

The earth shook.

Then He died.

That day was.... Sad. Hopeless. Bleak.

Jesus' followers did not understand. They were confused. They were grieving. They were hurting.

Wondering.

What did this mean?

What was the purpose?

Don't so many of us live in "the Friday" of our lives?  Scared. Wondering. Confused.

How is God going to work things out in our lives?

We can't see it.

We don't get it.

We won't live through it.

What is the purpose?

But Jesus did not stay in the grave.

He conquered death.

He rose again.

He appeared too many.

The glorious resurrection day changed everything.

EVERYTHING.

For all time.

FOR US

The followers had.....Hope. Joy. Peace.

Death had been conquered by the only ONE who was capable.

He took our place. He sacrificed. His blood was spilled.

And He came out of that tomb!

Jesus never left us in the darkness of the crucifixion.

Because He lives, we are brought into the

glorious resurrection morning!

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"  John 11:25 NIV

***Join us over at A Holy Experience for Walk With Him Wednesdays, where we are blogging about the walk to Easter. Click on the graphic on my right side bar.***

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Relationship Is Important



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Image by wader via Flickr"]hand clasp[/caption]


At Faith Barista this week we are discussing the question, "How do you spend time with God and experience spiritual rest?"  Click on the Faith Barista graphic on my right side bar to find out how others experience rest.

All good relationships require communication. If I want to have a better marriage I need to spend time with my husband. We need to talk. Laugh. Cry. Be goofy.....together. If I want to maintain my friendships I have to find time to get together. Chat on the phone. Walk together. Talk together. If I want my relationship as a mother to be nurturing to my children, I need to take time to find out what is important to them. I email family and friends. We keep in touch. We reach out.  Without communication...without sharing... relationships die. Sometimes the death is long, slow and painful. Sometimes not.

I make time for the relationships that are important to me.

My relationship with God is no different. Some people would question me with, "How can you have a RELATIONSHIP with God? God is all about religion...and rules...and church."  My reply is that God, and His son, Jesus are ALL ABOUT relationship. Yes, Jesus came to this earth in the form of man BECAUSE of relationship. God wants relationship with me, not because He NEEDS too, but because He WANTS too. Even though I have been a Christian for many, many years I am still in awe of the fact that the God of the Universe wants to know me....and even more importantly He wants me to KNOW Him.

Sometimes all I need to do, to experience spiritual rest, is to talk WITH Him, the one who knows me most intimately. I commune with the One who knows my heart.

Father,

I long for peace and rest

From You, who knows me best.

I stumble through my days

turning from Your gaze.

I am full of pride

thinking I can hide

all my stress inside

far from You.

Forgive me Father.

I am so stubborn.

I need rest.

Rest for my body.

Rest for my soul.

I need You.

Thank you for your provision for me.

As I draw close to You,

You draw close to me.

And I can rest in Your love.

Amen




Thursday, March 24, 2011

In His Grip



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="196" caption="Image via Wikipedia"]Picture of Horatio Spafford[/caption]




This month at Faith Barista we are talking about rest. Click on the Faith Barista graphic on my right side bar and join us!

This song always makes me think of rest. Emotional rest... even in the storms of life.


It Is Well With My Soul

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Horatio Spafford

You cannot fully understand this song, unless you know the whole story.


It is powerful.


It's much easier to say "it is well with my soul",  when everything is going well. Life goes according to plan. The waters are glassy smooth. It's not as easy to sing this song when bruised and broken. When tears flow and hearts leak. When the waves pound hard.

But, it is at those times when the words of this song have the most meaning...

Tired of struggling. Exhausted from treading water. Almost down for the count.

He reaches out.

The hand that grips me strong.

And doesn't let go.

When the wind and waves threaten

He gives me emotional rest

A calm

In the midst of the storms.









Thursday, February 24, 2011

I Forgive You



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="240" caption="Image by neko687 via Flickr"]Moon[/caption]


Today's blog topic at the Faith Barista Jam is forgiveness.

Ouch.

I don't know about this.

Forgiveness is difficult. Especially, when it is I that have been wronged.

Especially, when I didn't deserve what I got.

I was left hurt. Bruised. Confused. Broken.

How does one forgive through the pain?

Even when the wrong doer doesn't care about the pain he/she caused....

The sleepless nights.....

The actions that played in my head like a never ending movie reel...

I was a prisoner in my own unforgiveness.

It wasn't pleasant. I didn't enjoy it. But, I couldn't let it go.

I didn't know how.

Until......

God showed me.

It didn't happen all at once.

It was work.

I still work at it.

I've learned that forgiveness is a gift.

Not just to the forgiven....but, to the one forgiving.

A gift of peace.

How can I not forgive others, when Christ has so richly forgiven me?

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

(Colossians 3:13)

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

One Thousand Gifts


Sunlight Throught Trees


A couple of days ago I blogged about Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts. I mentioned that I was taking "the dare". I'm daring to live fully right where I'm at. Right here. Right now. Just as I am.

Sometimes a word, a thought, a book resonates with me in a deep and profound way.  It touches me in a way that I could not have imagined beforehand, causing me to have an "a ha" moment(s). A different way of thinking. A different way of living.

That is just how God works in my life. More often than not, when I'm least expecting it, He shares with me. In the midst of my day, He meets me. Just where I'm at. He sees me as I move throughout my day and bids me to come and sit at His feet for awhile. Just to be with Him.

Jesus...His calming voice, in the storms of my day.

Jesus...His touch that heals my heart.

Jesus...His love that renews my spirit.

His gifts to me are numerous. Writing each gift down and listing them all, one by one, causes me to focus. I am more keenly aware of His presence in my life as I list the ways He shows me that He loves me. Nothing I list is too small nor  too big. God is so good to me.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17 NIV)

Each moment becomes a time of worship, to thank Him.


Sunday, January 23, 2011

They Are Precious In His Sight



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia"]A homeless man in Paris[/caption]


The homeless man on the street---the one holding the sign that says he will work for food..... He does need food. Everyone needs to eat. To survive. Even more than food he  needs to know Jesus. Not a pious "Jesus" that throws him some crumbs. Not a "Jesus" that tells him to move off the corner because he's making the street look dirty. Not a "Jesus" that looks the other way, because the homeless guy makes him uncomfortable. This man hurts physically from lack of shelter and food. He hurts spiritually because he wonders if this is all there is for him? All he deserves?  He needs to meet the REAL Jesus.

The business man in the expensive Italian suit needs Jesus too. He needs the "Jesus" that will accept him. The "Jesus" that knows he's not perfect but loves him anyway. He needs the "Jesus" that doesn't expect him to work so hard for things...that life becomes meaningless. This man is handsome, and intelligent. He smiles...but, inside he is unsure. Balancing precariously on the line between great and never good enough. He's afraid he is going to lose his balance. Afraid that this is all there is in life. He longs for more than the flashy car and the empty apartment. This man needs to meet the REAL Jesus.

The married couple that believe that this life is all there is. They are not sure if there really is a Jesus. And if there is, they aren't sure they need him. They are self sufficient. Life is fun.....until it isn't. Until something happens. Then they wonder....what about this Jesus? Is he real? And does he care? And if he does, why? They are scared to face this unknown. They think maybe if they fill their lives with stuff, they can forget the doubts that creep into their thoughts when the music has stopped...and it is quiet.  They need to meet the REAL Jesus.

The woman that stares at her reflection in the mirror with self-loathing. She realizes that she will never be tall, and slender and have perfect skin. Her reality is what she looks at in the mirror every day. She pinches and pokes at her flesh with merciless fingers. She longs for beauty, but sees none of it in herself. Sometimes she wants to die. It would be easier that way. She doesn't understand that she is beautiful in Jesus' eyes. She needs to know the REAL Jesus.

The young man that is the star athlete. The one all the colleges want. The pride of his hometown. He has the world before him, and yet he is unsure and scared. When one is put on a pedestal it is so easy to fall. He worries that people will find out that he isn't perfect.  This boy needs to know the REAL Jesus.

The world is full of people that need to know the real Jesus. The young child, the rebellious teen, the scholar, the athlete, the mom, the dad, the business man, the young woman, the homeless, the prostitute, the dancer, the computer geek, the friend, and even the enemy. They all need Him.

The REAL Jesus is not the church building, though the church is made of people that should be the body of Christ. The REAL Jesus isn't the pastor, minister, priest, or elder, though this person should have the mind and heart of Christ.  The REAL Jesus isn't a charity or mission, though these groups should be the hands and feet of Christ. Since we live in an imperfect world...sometimes these groups, buildings, people are mistaken for Jesus.

The REAL Jesus is so much more than that. He is the Anointed One, Son of God, King of the Ages, Light of the World, Lord, Sure Foundation, The Most Holy, Wonderful Counselor, the Ransom for All Men.....and Salvation for mankind.

Jesus came that we might have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10) He and he alone is the One that sees us as we really are. We are all imperfect. We fail. We are fake. We lie. We regret. We say things we shouldn't and don't say things we should. The conversations that we have with ourselves are things we wouldn't dare share with another. As much as we might long to do the right thing, we are pulled into doing the very things that make us want to kick ourselves.

That is why Jesus came.

Romans 5:6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.




Romans 5:7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die.

Romans 8:32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?




Romans 8:39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Beauty Of Forgiveness



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="195" caption="Cover of Forgiveness"]Cover of "Forgiveness"[/caption]


He doesn't deserve my forgiveness! She did a terrible thing to me. Why should I forgive her? He hurt my feelings. She said horrible things.

Most of us in this life have had things happen to us that we feel we really don't deserve. People have treated us poorly.  They didn't do what they should.  They shouldn't have done what they did.

I've heard myself say the words, "I will never forgive her for that". She hurt me. She doesn't "deserve" my forgiveness. I hate her.

With those words, the bitterness started to grow, like a vine around my heart. It was slowly choking out the ability to forgive. It was always there with me...like poison that I kept drinking--even though it hurt me.

The truth is that the "unforgiven" rarely suffer like the ones holding onto the bitterness. The one who demands payment for whatever sin was committed against them, suffers much more.

I can't tell you the exact moment that, that changed for me. The moment I forgave her for the awful things she said about me. Things that weren't true. My forgiveness wasn't showy. As a matter of fact, she never even asked me for my forgiveness. She never begged me to forgive her. It was never like that. I don't know that she even remembers what she said to begin with.......but, I did. So, I was the one to make the move. To forgive her. In my heart.

You know, when you forgive someone it is does not always mean that you "forget" what happened. Our minds don't work that way. Forgiveness isn't about forgetting, forgiveness is about "letting it go" and moving on. Bitterness only hurts the one harboring it.

You might be thinking to yourself, "Dawn, does not get it. My hurt is too great. The offense too horrible. I cannot forgive. Ever."

And you would be wrong. I do get it. I know. Believe me, I know. And you can forgive. It is a choice. Not easy, but  definitely not impossible.

Like I said, forgiveness is not about giving something to the other person. (unless he/she asks) Forgiveness is about YOU being able to rid yourself of bitterness.

Most of you know me (especially those of you that have been reading my blog for a long time). If you were to meet me you'd see that I am a wife and mom. Teenagers can drive me nutty.  I look sort of average. I like wearing tennis shoes. I shop at Walmart. I enjoy reading. I have a soft spot for dogs. I love my family. If I don't get enough sleep I'm a bear. Sometimes I yell. Sometimes my sense of humor shines. Above all else I am a Christian.

The reason that I am able to forgive is NOT because I am special...because I am not. I am no different than you.  The reason that I am able to forgive is because, you see, I am one of the forgiven. When Christ took my place and hung on that cross, He cried out, "Father, forgive them!" Christ knew that one day I would exist. That my heart would be dark with the feelings that it harbored. That even if I tried to be good, I couldn't do it. I didn't have it in me. And yet, He forgave me. He didn't have to. I surely didn't deserve it. I didn't even appreciate it.

But, I am grateful for a loving, compassionate, just, and holy God. God tells me in Psalms 103:12,






















New International Version (©1984)
as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.


Because God first forgave me, I am now able to show forgiveness to others.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

God's Story



[caption id="" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Image via Wikipedia"]E@L-userpage-10[/caption]


Life has joy mixed with sorrow. Incredible highs punctuated with incredible lows. Births and marriages. Smiles and friendships, scattered amongst deaths, chronic illness, financial challenges and broken promises.

There are so many people that I know that are going through difficult times. People that are hurting because life has handed them situations that seem almost impossible to handle.

*Family members that continue to fight through treatments to rid their bodies of cancer. Their bodies are tired.

*A friend whose husband has to face early onset Alzheimers in his 40's...and she has to watch it.  It seems so unfair.

*A friend of a friend who woke up yesterday morning to find her teen had passed away during the night. And a mother's heart breaks.

*A woman from my home school group who said goodbye to her husband one morning in early November, he died hours later in an accident. And she is lonely.

* A mother who has three children and all three children are on the autism scale. She feels overwhelmed.

*Friends whose hearts are broken because of divorce. And they feel like failures.

*Financial devastation. Lost jobs. Foreclosures. And they are scared.

It's easy to love God when life is going well. When the bills are paid, the house is warm, and the family is safe. How do I feel about Him when life is hard and seems unfair to me? I thought I wasn't supposed to get more than I could handle? WHERE IS GOD?!

Not being able to get pregnant again after my only child. A first husband who died from a chronic illness. A father who chose to take his own life. A second husband who lost his job of 22 years. Pain. Broken dreams. Confusion. Scared. I have been there.

Life isn't fair. I said it out loud. It tastes bitter in my mouth. I gag on the pain of saying it. And yet it is true.

Bad things happen to good people. Bad things happen to bad people. Good things happen to both. It really doesn't make any sense by itself.

Each of our lives must be looked at in the scope of eternity. Each of our lives is but a chapter in God's great story of redemption. When we just "read" our chapter, most of the time it doesn't make sense by itself. It seems jumbled and confusing. And not fair. It is impossible for us to fully understand how we fit into the story...how our chapter is interwoven with others.

But God does. He knows. His story began before time. He is an exceptional and deliberate writer. He sees each smile, and marks every tear. As He penned the story He already knew how it would end. Each of us is a part of His grand story of redemption. In light of His son, Jesus Christ, everything begins to make sense. It is Jesus that makes this story special. And real. And alive.

It is He, that is the main character in God's story of redemption. The reader begins to see the central theme of God's story is love.

Love for a hurting and dying world.