Relationship Is Important

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At Faith Barista this week we are discussing the question, "How do you spend time with God and experience spiritual rest?"  Click on the Faith Barista graphic on my right side bar to find out how others experience rest.

All good relationships require communication. If I want to have a better marriage I need to spend time with my husband. We need to talk. Laugh. Cry. Be goofy.....together. If I want to maintain my friendships I have to find time to get together. Chat on the phone. Walk together. Talk together. If I want my relationship as a mother to be nurturing to my children, I need to take time to find out what is important to them. I email family and friends. We keep in touch. We reach out.  Without communication...without sharing... relationships die. Sometimes the death is long, slow and painful. Sometimes not.

I make time for the relationships that are important to me.

My relationship with God is no different. Some people would question me with, "How can you have a RELATIONSHIP with God? God is all about religion...and rules...and church."  My reply is that God, and His son, Jesus are ALL ABOUT relationship. Yes, Jesus came to this earth in the form of man BECAUSE of relationship. God wants relationship with me, not because He NEEDS too, but because He WANTS too. Even though I have been a Christian for many, many years I am still in awe of the fact that the God of the Universe wants to know me....and even more importantly He wants me to KNOW Him.

Sometimes all I need to do, to experience spiritual rest, is to talk WITH Him, the one who knows me most intimately. I commune with the One who knows my heart.

Father,

I long for peace and rest

From You, who knows me best.

I stumble through my days

turning from Your gaze.

I am full of pride

thinking I can hide

all my stress inside

far from You.

Forgive me Father.

I am so stubborn.

I need rest.

Rest for my body.

Rest for my soul.

I need You.

Thank you for your provision for me.

As I draw close to You,

You draw close to me.

And I can rest in Your love.

Amen

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When Life Is Hard

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I'm finished with chapter five of One Thousand Gifts.

It was a difficult chapter.

Painful, even.

It hurts, when faced with the reality that life will never be easy. Not for me. Not for you. No one will get out of this life without struggle. Will I be thankful for what my life holds for me? Even when things aren't going as I planned? As I had hoped?  Even when I sit at the bedside of a loved one who is dying? Even when I hear the doctor's voice explain the diagnosis? When my child is sick? Or run away? Will I be thankful for all that God has done for me when I get the bad news? When my husband loses his job? When people hurt me with their words? When I feel robbed of happiness? Will..I...be...thankful....then?

I realize that some of you reading this might be thinking, "Well, she is a real bummer. Where are her funny blogs? I like her sense of humor. This stuff is depressing." To those of you I reply with this....I do love to laugh. I enjoy telling a funny story.  Life is a joy. There are some times when the deeper things of life need precedence. When I need to think deeply. This is one of those days.I hope you will read my blog post with your eyes wide open.

On pages 84 and 85 I read the words that slammed through me like a deadly, powerful wind. My breath caught in my throat.

Ann Voskamp writes, "What will I lose? Health? Comfort? Hope? Eventually, I am guaranteed to lose every thing I have possessed. When will I lose? Today? How  much time do I have before the next loss? Who will I lose? And that's definite. I will lose every single person I have ever loved. Either abruptly or eventually. All human relationships end in loss. Am I prepared for that?"

Tears stained my cheeks with wet. My breath was ragged while reading her words. Because.....I know they are true. A sob escapes my throat. So true.

Will I be prepared for the hard eucharisteo when that time comes? If I am learning the discipline of thanking God in all things now...daily writing down all the ways that God says 'yes' to me, all the proofs of His love, will I be ready to thank Him through the hard times? God is good today. God will be good tomorrow. God will be good for all the days after that. He does not change. If I love Him today when things are well for me, should I not love Him tomorrow, even when the news might change?

It is not an easy thing.

It is not easy when my heart bleeds. When my hopes are dashed. When my world is torn apart. When pain is so great. When I scream "the why's" at Heaven.

God is good.

He is good.

He loves me.

He shows me His love daily. I am listing His thousand gifts to me....and when I get to the end of my list, I will list a thousand more. His love is eternal. On days when life is hard, I can look at my list and be amazed at each moment I recorded. He showers me with the moments.

On page 91 Ann states, "Without God's Word as a lens, the world warps."  (Matt. 6:22-23)  Yes. Yes. Yes!  Page 94.."When I realize that it is not God who is in my debt but I who am in His great debt, then doesn't all become a gift?

"One act of thanksgiving, when things go wrong with us, is worth a thousand thanks when things are agreeable to our inclinations."

--Saint John of Avila.

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The Gifts For Today

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I am beginning my journey of gratitude. Writing down each of the things that I am grateful for. Giving thanks.

Each Monday ,and maybe some days in between, I will share my list with you. I ask that you join me in this endeavor, in saying thank you for your own gifts. (See my side bar with multitudes on mondays - one thousand gifts button)

#1 My God, My Jesus...for loving me. For loving me long before I loved Him. I didn't deserve the love, yet it was given to me. Freely.

#2 My husband, who came to me by way of loss, has turned my life around and changed my life story.

#3 My son,  who I've had opportunity to love with all my heart, since before he was even born.

#4 My son and daughters through my marriage, that I have adopted in my heart.

#5 My health...though not perfect...is better than most. I'm thankful for lungs that breathe, a heart that beats, a brain that thinks, and a soul that sings.

#6 My family members who have loved me, in spite of...

#7 A mother who encourages me.

#8  The warmth of a house on a cold winters day.

#9 The way the lamp light puddles on the floor, near my reading chair.

#10 The smell of dinner cooking.

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Don't Expect Perfection

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Don't expect perfection from me because it's not going to be happening. Oh, I try. Sometimes, I find myself trying too much. Fretting over the coulda, shoulda, woulda's of life.

There are days when I lament the fact that I am not taller. Or thinner. Or funnier. Or that I would read my Bible more. Or be more thrifty..or....or......or...... the list can go on and on, can't it?

After I have my pity party, I come back to reality. I will never be perfect. I just won't.

God knows that.

And that is okay.

As much as I don't like to share my imperfections with the world, it is those very imperfections that draw people to me. It is the same with you.

This life is not about being perfect. Perfect is not attainable. Being real is more important.

It's when I take off the "expectations", and strive instead, to be the one that I was created to be, that things change. I begin to see the glory in the moments. I see God's hand in my life.

My DNA says that I am unique. I am special. There is no one just like me. Not in all the world. That is pretty amazing stuff if you think about it.

God is pretty amazing...and incredible...and He really IS perfect.

And yet, He still loves me.

Imperfections and all.

 

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One Thousand Gifts

A couple of days ago I blogged about Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts. I mentioned that I was taking "the dare". I'm daring to live fully right where I'm at. Right here. Right now. Just as I am.

Sometimes a word, a thought, a book resonates with me in a deep and profound way.  It touches me in a way that I could not have imagined beforehand, causing me to have an "a ha" moment(s). A different way of thinking. A different way of living.

That is just how God works in my life. More often than not, when I'm least expecting it, He shares with me. In the midst of my day, He meets me. Just where I'm at. He sees me as I move throughout my day and bids me to come and sit at His feet for awhile. Just to be with Him.

Jesus...His calming voice, in the storms of my day.

Jesus...His touch that heals my heart.

Jesus...His love that renews my spirit.

His gifts to me are numerous. Writing each gift down and listing them all, one by one, causes me to focus. I am more keenly aware of His presence in my life as I list the ways He shows me that He loves me. Nothing I list is too small nor  too big. God is so good to me.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17 NIV)

Each moment becomes a time of worship, to thank Him.

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God's Story

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Life has joy mixed with sorrow. Incredible highs punctuated with incredible lows. Births and marriages. Smiles and friendships, scattered amongst deaths, chronic illness, financial challenges and broken promises.

There are so many people that I know that are going through difficult times. People that are hurting because life has handed them situations that seem almost impossible to handle.

*Family members that continue to fight through treatments to rid their bodies of cancer. Their bodies are tired.

*A friend whose husband has to face early onset Alzheimers in his 40's...and she has to watch it.  It seems so unfair.

*A friend of a friend who woke up yesterday morning to find her teen had passed away during the night. And a mother's heart breaks.

*A woman from my home school group who said goodbye to her husband one morning in early November, he died hours later in an accident. And she is lonely.

* A mother who has three children and all three children are on the autism scale. She feels overwhelmed.

*Friends whose hearts are broken because of divorce. And they feel like failures.

*Financial devastation. Lost jobs. Foreclosures. And they are scared.

It's easy to love God when life is going well. When the bills are paid, the house is warm, and the family is safe. How do I feel about Him when life is hard and seems unfair to me? I thought I wasn't supposed to get more than I could handle? WHERE IS GOD?!

Not being able to get pregnant again after my only child. A first husband who died from a chronic illness. A father who chose to take his own life. A second husband who lost his job of 22 years. Pain. Broken dreams. Confusion. Scared. I have been there.

Life isn't fair. I said it out loud. It tastes bitter in my mouth. I gag on the pain of saying it. And yet it is true.

Bad things happen to good people. Bad things happen to bad people. Good things happen to both. It really doesn't make any sense by itself.

Each of our lives must be looked at in the scope of eternity. Each of our lives is but a chapter in God's great story of redemption. When we just "read" our chapter, most of the time it doesn't make sense by itself. It seems jumbled and confusing. And not fair. It is impossible for us to fully understand how we fit into the story...how our chapter is interwoven with others.

But God does. He knows. His story began before time. He is an exceptional and deliberate writer. He sees each smile, and marks every tear. As He penned the story He already knew how it would end. Each of us is a part of His grand story of redemption. In light of His son, Jesus Christ, everything begins to make sense. It is Jesus that makes this story special. And real. And alive.

It is He, that is the main character in God's story of redemption. The reader begins to see the central theme of God's story is love.

Love for a hurting and dying world.

 

 

 

 

 

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