Eat Your Nutritional Bits!

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Life has come to me arguing with the dog.He is not participating in the argument, so really it's just me pretending to argue with the dog.

Okay, so maybe cajoling him.

Oh, alright! Begging him. This is so humiliating.

Tonight I was trying to get Lonnie, the wonder dog...all 19 pounds of him...to eat his nutritional bits.

I buy him the dog food that is supposed to be good for him. Healthy even.

The nutritional bits resemble little chocolate chip looking things. Yum.

Lonnie refuses his nutrition. Instead he roots through all the rest of the dog food, spewing bits as he goes. How in the world does an animal that has no fingers pick all those teeny, tiny bits out of the bowl? He must spit them out like watermelon seeds. I will have to make a point to observe this. I'll have to be sneaky if I want to watch, Lonnie tends to be covert.

I called the little terrier to me when I saw the mess he made. I gave him the "stink eye". He stared back. I proceeded to lecture him on his canine health. He licked me. I continued to inform him of his need for good teeth and a shiny coat. He actually yawned. At this point I placed my hand on my hip, got the mom stance and said (with a straight face) "Lonnie you are like a five year old who pushes his peas all around the plate. You need to eat your nutritional bits!"

I thought for sure that I had made my case.

Sigh.

On a good note, the cat seems to enjoy eating them off the floor.

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Love And Marriage

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Our love intertwined in the moments of the every day......

"Are you coming to sit with me?"

I will in just a minute.

"Do you want to play Boggle?"

Okay...but, you almost always win.

"No, I don't."

Yes, you do.

"Okay, so I do."

"Thank you for making lunch."

You're welcome.

"Do you want to ride into town with me? I need to get something at Lowe's."

Sure, can we get a coffee while we're out?

"I drink coffee. You drink creamer and mocha with a splash of coffee for flavor."

Do not.

"Do too."

I like mocha.

HE JUST WANTS TO BE WITH ME....ME.

OUT OF ALL THE WOMEN IN THE WORLD, HE WANTS TO HANG  WITH ME.

How cool is that?

 

Walk With Him Wednesdays---Click On The Picture On My Sidebar

 

 

 

 

 

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Getting The Treatment

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This morning I stood in front of the bathroom mirror. As I was washing my hands I was looking around the sink. My eyes lingered on the Chicken Poop Lip Balm (and don't freak out, there isn't any REAL poop in it) from Tractor Supply Center. Then I noticed my Udderly Soft (can be used on all sorts of farm animals) hand lotion that I picked up at WalMart. Seriously, if I keep going like this, my bathroom sink will look like a table at the vet's office.

But, on the upside...I'll have really soft lips and hands.

Sigh.

 

 

 

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Help! I'm Stuck In Frozen Foods

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So, as I mentioned in yesterday's blog post...I got up early and went to the grocery store(s). WalMart at 8:15 in the morning usually is not so busy. Today it WAS! Every body and their brother was schlepping up and down the aisles picking out "stuck in a snowstorm" food. It also did not help my plight any that whoever wasn't shopping for snow food was shopping for Super Bowl food. Get out of my way Super Bowl people!  Put down those chips and cheese dip. I'm on a mission.

I wrestled somebody's grandma to the ground for the last bottle of salsa. Okay, so that is a lie. I didn't really do that. I wouldn't wrestle a grandma for salsa. Ice cream maybe, but not salsa. I have my priorities.

In all seriousness, there were a lot of senior individuals out and about today. I felt sorry for them. They probably believed their early morning shopping routine was being over taken by storm shoppers...and they would be right.

I moved on to the next store. I got there 15 min. after it opened. By the time I got ready to check out, the line was all the way back to the freezer aisle! For the love of Pete! Storm shoppers are a hardy bunch. We are not deterred by long lines! We settled in for the long haul. I was enjoying the sweet scene in front of me. A little boy (about 3 or 4 yrs. old) was shopping with his aunt. I know this because he called her aunt several times. (Call me super sleuth)  He was telling her various stories about  his parents. (one of them had to be this woman's brother or sister) It was a lovely story about how the little boy's mom liked Chinese food and the little boy liked Chinese (the jury is still out on whether Daddy liked it). He asked his aunt if she'd buy him Chinese? She said, "why don't we let mommy and daddy buy that?"  He said okay. "Mommy gets Chinese a lot, because she can't cook it." I smiled. The little guy smiled back. He reminded me of my son when he was 4 years old. He liked to tell stories too. Not about Chinese food, but you get the gist.

The line went quickly. I smiled at the cashier gentleman. I told him that he was very quick with check out and I appreciated that he was smiling and in a good mood even though he was swamped. He laughed. He said, "I expected that we'd we busy, just not this early!"

I got everything stashed and packed in the mini van. I did not drop anything...no cans rolled under the van. Not that, that happens to me. Purely, hypothetical. On the way home I did hear a loud crash and looked to see that a sack of soups fell off the seat and rolled around on the floor near the van's side door. I'm so lucky. Now when I open the van door, all the cans will roll out into the driveway. Sigh. I don't get paid enough for this wife/mom gig. Just sayin'.

The weather people are calling for a monster storm. Snow. Sleet. Freezing Rain. High winds. Some states. even getting tornadoes. Just watch. All this shopping and standing in line and we, here in rural Ohio, probably will end up with an inch of snow. That would be my luck. Whatever. At least I have enough hot chocolate and chips to last the family and me until 2012.

Oh, and by the way, I also have sweet smelling candles to burn...just in case the electricity goes out. (due to ice) We might all be sitting in the dark but, at least it will smell good. Then again apple, cinnamon, and pumpkin spice scented candles might make us hungry. That's where the excessive amounts of chips and salsa comes in. A mom always plans ahead.

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Wandering Into The Unknown

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I put it off as long as I possibly could. I didn't want to go there. But I had to do it.

A MOM'S JOB IS NEVER DONE...AND THE JOB CAN GET PRETTY GROSS!

Cleaning Out The Refrigerator 101

1. I've noticed for the past couple of weeks that leftovers have been piling up in the refrigerator.

2. Leftovers that certain people swore up and down that they planned on eating. Uh, huh.

3. Now said leftovers are either moldy, or rock hard and could be used as a weapon.

4. I found detox tea that I had made, well, I can't tell you when I made it. Um....nasty stuff after sitting in the fridge since before time began.

5. In my defense the tea had been shoved to the back of the fridge. Out of sight, out of mind.

6. This never happens to my sweet tea. It is gone in no time, and I have to make more. I'm so pathetic. Sugar, yes. Detox, no. Don't tell anyone.

7. Slices of pizza and old Subway subs do some really funky stuff if left to their own devices.

8. Cheese dip turns to glue.

9. Glue that sticks to you if you happen to get some on you. Not that, that happened to me.

10. The gag reflex is a marvelous thing.

11. How come mom's end up with this job? And most of the stuff "leftover" in there...wasn't even mine!

12. It was a little like Christmas.

13. A little "gift" all wrapped up in aluminum foil.

14. What will the surprise be?

15. Oh, wow. A piece of my son's birthday cake...too bad his birthday was on October 13th!!!

16. No. I am not THAT desperate for chocolate.

17. Thank goodness.

18. After ridding the fridge of all the nasty evidence of my family's slothfulness...

19. I wiped it all down with Clorox wipes. I love those things. Just sayin'.

20. Now, all is well with the world again. And the refrigerator is practically empty. Sigh. Time to start over.

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Food Stamps

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New York officials are trying to say that if one uses food stamps he/she shouldn't be able to buy sodas or sugary foods. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Statistics tell us that 41.8 people in this country are on food stamps. That's a lot of people. Is the government going to tell all of them, what they can or cannot eat?

1. Do most people really WANT to be on food stamps?

2. Probably not, for the most part.

3. There are those who are " takers" who don't really mind to sponge off others....but, I think most people would rather not be dependent on the government for hand outs.

4. On the one hand...if a person accepts food stamps, should they have to adhere to what the gov't tells them to eat or drink?

5. Or is that too controlling?

6. Who believes that the gov't should become the food police?

7. Today it is soda, next month might it be cookie mix? or anything that has food dye in it?

8. When does it stop?

9. Shouldn't people be able to make their own decisions?

10. Some people will make poor decisions and spend it on junk. They will have to live with the consequences.

11. Some people will choose wisely, and their health will benefit.

12. But the decision is theirs to make.

13. I mean don't we all have to make decisions that are best for us individually?

14. I'm going to be watching this story...

15. To see who wins this battle...personal freedom? or government control?

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Jingle Bells In July!

Okay, people. I confess. I've been going around the house singing Christmas carols this afternoon. Yes, I know it is July....and it feels like an inferno outside. The hottest day of summer so far and I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. Just so you know I do not  have heat stroke. I received my Christmas With Southern Living 2010 book today. What can I say? There is a God in Heaven and He sent me this book. I flung the book open as soon as I got back in the house with it. There in beautiful, living color was a picture of the most perfect chocolate chunk cheesecake I've ever seen. I could feel my blood sugar starting to rise just by staring at it. I had to wipe the drool off the book. It was a disgusting display on my part. I couldn't help it. It's an illness. Then, just as I'm gathering myself together--to at least some semblance of dignity, I flip the page and there it is......a hot mocha drink.  Will this insanity never stop??? If I keep looking at this book I will gain 900 lbs. just from the pictures. Then to make it even worse they have an entire chapter in this edition on a Tex-Mex Christmas. My all time favorite food, besides chocolate of course, is Mexican. Spicy Queso Dip? Mexican lasagna? Mexican Chocolate Bar Cookies With Bittersweet Chocolate Frosting? I think I am in love.

After looking at all the edible gifts in the back of the book....just so you know. If you are family or friends you WILL be getting edible gifts this year for Christmas. Sorry, to let you in on that already, but I've decided that I am not the only one that is going to weigh about a billion tons by the end of the year. I am spreading the love. And the calories. Enjoy.

I guess that is it for my blogging today. I've got a book to peruse. Plans to make. Slobber to clean up. After all I have my priorities.

Just On This Side Of Crazy...

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I KNOW WHY CERTAIN SPECIES EAT THEIR YOUNG. I totally get it. It is so much easier that way.

I am the mother of three teenagers. Yes, three. Two boys. One girl.

I am the mother of  a kid who stares at me like I have two heads when I tell him to "TURN OFF YOUR ALARM CLOCK! IT"S BEEN GOING OFF FOR THE PAST TEN MINUTES----CAN YOU NOT HEAR IT???!!! I'M SURE THEY CAN HEAR IT IN CHINA, BUT YOU CAN'T HEAR IT WHEN IT IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR EAR???"

I am the mother of kids who can totally mess up the hall bathroom is no time flat. DOES NO ONE ELSE SEE THE NASTY, WHATEVER-IT-IS, GROWING IN THE SINK?  What is with that? What IS that? The other two bathrooms don't look that way. Only theirs. It's scary. Really scary. What if it is some sort of mutant bacteria that will overtake the house one night while we sleep? The teens would be immuned to it....but, it would get my husband and me. While we slept.

Or what is the deal with food? If they stand at the refrigerator and leave the door open while they peer inside....what will they find? Hmmm......who wants jalepeno slices straight out of the jar?  (YUCK) Or who drinks enough tea or milk to float for a year? I have learned that if I want any tea in this house I better make it and then get the first glass---otherwise I won't see it again...until it is time to make the next pitcher. Why can't we keep snacks in this house? Stuff disappears quickly around here. I think they have super metabolisms..... And I want to know WHY that is the case with only young people??? I WANT a super metabolism. It's only fair.

Having teens is not all about fighting for tea, slimy things that go bump in the night or selective hearing.....it is also fun. They do make me laugh---because essentially they are at that age when they understand life more, but are still young enough to laugh about it. Yes, there is frustration, but there is also a lot of love and goofiness. I'll miss them when they are gone. It will be so quiet....and clean.... food in the frig....all the tea I can drink.....Oh, I digress. I was saying I'd miss them. Really, I will. I will.

In the meantime.....I think I need a Haz-mat suit for the bathroom clean up.

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