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Time is a blessing.
On most days, we feel like there aren't enough hours in the day. We scurry around trying to get all the things checked off on our to do lists. We make appointments, try to squeeze in a few hours of sleep, and work, while we watch the clock. Time doesn't always feel like a blessing. Sometimes time feels like a curse, especially when we feel we don't have enough of it.We are hardly ever satisfied with time.
The other day I was pondering, time. I was thinking about how time has affected me. Changed me. How my whole life is different--and time has played a role in that. On rough, hard days time mercifully brought night and sleep...knowing "this too shall pass". On other days time brought a beautiful sunrise and the excitement of a new day. There are moments in time that are etched forever in my memory. For good and bad. But time has never stopped.
In 1986, I graduated from
high school. I smiled as I walked across the stage to accept my scholarship. I knew that my time in high school was well spent.
In 1990 I graduated from college. I knew my degree would allow me to spend time doing what I loved...teaching.
In 1992 I married in the heat of July in the South. In tons of taffeta and lace. And I wondered to myself, why did I pick this time of year?
In 1994 I found out I was pregnant. Time had a whole new meaning to me...as I waited.
In 1998 when my son was three, I wanted time to slow down. Three years old. It was a great year. I wanted to remember everything. Absolutely everything.
In 1999 my husband was diagnosed with a terminal heart disease. Each moment became important. We began to realize that he would not live to old age. And time seemed cruel.
In 2000, when the emergency doctors and nurses yelled, "Code Blue" time stood still. I felt as if I was caught in a slow motion machine. Unable to move as the medical personnel swarmed my husband.
After the funeral, evenings became long...not sure how to fill my time. A new kind of normal.
Five years of widowhood. I realized time doesn't stop for anyone...and my son and I were going to be okay. Time was therapeutic.
December 2005 .
Remarriage. Vows. A new life. Time seemed promising.
Teenagers in the house...not many years left with them before they move on to their own independence. Time seems to be moving at warp speed.
My husband and I in our 40's. Within the next decade, facing the "empty nest". Time has possibilities.
And here I sit. On January 13, 2011. A
new year is just beginning. I have no idea what it will hold for me. It's kind of exciting, and a little scary.
Because time stops for no one.
