Mom-ism's

I have a book full of mom-ism's. It always gives me a good laugh. I thought I'd share some today to give everyone a good chuckle. If you are a mom you will totally understand. If you are a son or daughter you will also "get it".  I have chosen to add my own take on each of these  timeless nuggets of wisdom. Enjoy!

--I don't know is not an answer! (and if I don't know the answer either, I will fake it. I'm a mom, it's my job.)

--I just want what's best for you. (and what's best for you is for you to do what I say.)

--If all the other kids jump off the bridge (or cliff) are you going to, too? ( Son, don't answer that!....especially, if you have a child who would seriously try to be Evil Kneivel. Next thing you know you're sitting in the emergency clinic.)

--If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. (I already know your opinion and I'm choosing to ignore it.)

--I'm not running a taxi service. (I'm finding out the going rate for taxis...I will be deducting it from your allowance.)

--Isn't it past your bedtime? ( I don't care if you are eighteen. Go to sleep already!)

--Life isn't fair. (This is an understatement. Go with it.)

--Look at me when I'm talking to you. ( I will stare at you with laser beam eyes drilling through your head, until you look at me.)

--Now, say you're sorry and act like you mean it. ( I said act like you mean it! Don't stick out your tongue. Don't roll your eyes. That's it! I'm coming over there!)

--Some day you will thank me for this. (Yes, you will! You might be 92 when you come to this realization...but, I don't care.)

--Some day when you have kids you'll understand. ( Oh boy! I can't wait. Grandchildren. Spoil them and send them home for YOU to deal with. Yea!  Revenge is sweet.)

--Were you born in a barn? ( Don't think I haven't thought about that. You and the horse could be room mates.)

--What part of NO don't you understand? ( Am I speaking English...um...yes, yes I am. And the answer is still NO!)

--When I was a little girl... ( I never gave my parents one bit of grief. I was an angel straight from heaven. NO you may not call grandma to verify this fact. What, are you calling me a liar? Go to your room!)