My husband, Scott, and I were both widowed in our thirties. He at 39 and I at 32 years of age. It’s a club that no one really wants to be a member of…not that one has a choice. Life happens….and so does death….and death comes when it feels like it. It doesn’t matter whether you’re ready. Death doesn’t care about your plans. Death is selfish that way. This week marks the 5th anniversary since Nancy passed away. It is a time to think…and a time to remember. Now, you might think it odd that I, as Scott’s second wife, would be blogging about Nancy. I don’t really think so. I am intimately involved in the grieving of her passing as well as the celebration of her life. No, I never met Nancy while she was here on earth. We didn’t know each other. We lived hundreds of miles apart and our lives never intersected. I didn’t even know who she was until years after she was gone. How was I to know that God in His sovereignty would bring Nancy and I together? Two separate, very different women yet still alike in so many ways. I found that out last summer when cleaning the house in Texas. Going through Nancy’s earthly possessions was not easy for me. When I came across things that she owned that were similar to things that I myself had I couldn’t help but cry. Although that was a difficult time, it was also for me a picture of a loving God. He had me there for a reason.
So what do I know about Nancy? Well…….
I see Nancy in the faces of her children. I hear Nancy in the stories that are told to me. Sometimes I cry with the person that shares those dear memories. Sometimes I laugh so hard that my stomach hurts! I feel the responsibility of being a surrogate mother to her children. I think Nancy would approve of most of my decisions–because she’d know that my decisions come from my heart. I’ve tasted the grief that comes from living with those she left behind. I know how hard it is when my dear husband visits the grave of his first wife. Placing flowers and touching the cool smooth stone that marks her life–and her death is a difficult thing… Perhaps because it is a reminder to us all of how brief our lives are. Scripture reminds us that our lives are but a vapor and none of us are promised a tomorrow.
Endings are always sad and many times painful, but instead of concentrating on Nancy’s death we can celebrate her life…. Because of a decision that Nancy made, death couldn’t hold her in the grave. She’s not there. She is with her Lord….and really she is more alive today then the rest of us left here. I’ll meet her one day and she and I can sit down and have a good long chat….and I’m sure we’ll spend a lot of time laughing.
Friday, August 20, 2010
I originally wrote this blog in August of 2008. It is now two years later and those that love Nancy are marking seven years since she passed from this life. Time stops for no one...even if we wish we could stop it sometimes...if only for a moment.