A couple of days ago I read a blog about contentment. The author of the blog was talking about being in the "inbetween" times of life. The unsettled. The unsure. I know those times. Those are the times when I want more, but get less. I dream big and wake up to reality. The wandering in the wilderness kinds of times.
Even before reading this blog I had contentment on my mind. Evidently God wants me to keep thinking about this subject because He keeps putting things in my daily path that cause me to have to evaluate my contentment.
Sometimes God's lessons aren't easy for me to handle. I want what I want. I've got ideas. I've got lists. I've got "the dream". I NEED these things on my list, in order to be content. After all, I deserve them. Right?!
I want life to be easier.
I want to understand.
I want security.
AND I pretty much prefer no big surprises.
Now don't get me wrong. I love surprises if it happens to be my birthday or a special Christmas gift. Hmm.....or a weekend get away. Or an unexpected visit from family or friends. BUT, not hard, life surprises.
Like unexpected job loss. Heartache. Friends that hurt my feelings. A sick child. A loss of faith. Arguments. Frustrations. Mistakes. Surprises that, quite frankly, are no fun.
God calls me to be content in my circumstances. All of them. Not just the fun ones. I am to learn the secret of being content, no matter the circumstance. (Phil 4:11-12) It's hard. I try. Sometimes I succeed. Other times I fail. Oh, how I fail. It's a journey that I'm on...this journey of learning contentment. I wish I could say I have this particular thing under control...but, I'm being honest. I don't......and so there are lots of bumps on this rocky road I'm traveling and many times I fall down.
The truth is I don't have everything I want in life, but I do have everything I need. For today. For this minute.
God is good like that.
I believe we, as human beings, go through periods of the "inbetween". It keeps us grounded and focused.
For me this isn't home. I'm just a pilgrim on a journey, through a land of discontentment. A land that I am just passing through. I'll admit that it is difficult. When I take my focus off of God I become discontent...stuck...and shackled to the negative. BUT, if I look to my Heavenly Father, I can see a glimpse of HOME.
He allows a glimmer of what it will be like. Home. A place where contentment will be real, not just the fleeting shadow of what I strive to achieve here on Earth. I will be fully content, because I will be with Him.
"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." ( 1 Corinthians 13:12)