Living The Life

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As many of you know I am a former, public school, special education teacher. (mouthful, huh?) I loved my job because I loved my students--and their parents. (most of the time) Four years ago I resigned from my teaching career of 17 years to come home. I, with my husband, home educate our own three kiddos. It's not just a job. It's an adventure. I'm not talking an adventure, like back backing through Europe. I'm thinking more like living in the trenches in Cambodia. Just teasing. No, really I am. Seriously, people. It's not Cambodia on most days. Well, unless it is a day that everyone wakes in a bad mood and Dad and I haven't had our coffee yet. Then we're talkin' serious guerilla warfare. Just sayin'.  All in all our kiddos are intelligent, well rounded, and they drive us nuts. On occasion. But, would they be teens if they didn't? It's part of the circle of life. I just secretly smile, because I know that one day they will get theirs. God will bless them with children in their spittin' image. And I will laugh on the inside....because as a grandparent I will spoil my grandkids absolutely rotten (as is my grandparental right) and I will send them back home TO THEIR PARENTS. And I will sleep like a baby:)

TEN REASONS I LOVE HOME SCHOOLING:

1. I know what my children are studying. This is important to me...because I've been on "the other side of the fence", and I know some of the off the wall stuff that is taught in schools, under the guise of character training, or student enlightenment.

2. We can work at odd hours if the need arises.

3. We are not chained to calendars or clocks.

4. My children are readers. They read on a myriad number of subjects, not just assigned textbooks. I learn many things from my own children because of things they've seen or read.

5. The kids interact with people of all ages, from toddlers to the elderly. This opens the world up to new relationships.

6. The kids learn to figure things out on their own. They are excellent problem solvers.

7.  They understand that all of life is a learning experience. It doesn't end after graduation.

8. We can work in our pajamas if we so choose.

9. The kids are still kids. We all have our ups and downs. No one is perfect. They do know that they are loved. They are not scared to go to school.

10. It's really cool that I, as the teacher, can smooch on the "principal" during lunch break, and I won't get in trouble. Yep. There are definitely some perks to this lifestyle:)

Helen Keller had it right when she said, "Life is an adventure...or nothing at all."

 

 

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The Children That Changed Me--Part Four

The year is 1997. I'm still teaching in the same county, just a different school...one closer to my house. This would be the school I would teach in for the next ten years. I liked this school. I met many wonderful teachers and a lot of interesting students while there.

When I started at this elementary school I had seven years of experience under my belt and was fresh from the inner city experience. I felt like, since I survived that, nothing could slow me down now! The first day I met my new teaching assistant. She sized me up right away. Checking me out to see if I was up to par. I guess the "evaluation" turned out okay since we became fast friends both inside school and out. We were the dynamic duo of our little school....and boy, did we have some adventures together!

One little girl in particular always kept us on our toes. I will call her Vonda. I will not use her real name to protect the innocent or not so innocent as the case may be. She was EXTREMELY ADHD along with having learning disabilities. Now, I know a lot about ADHD...when I say she was EXTREMELY I mean it. This is the same girl that would walk around the room and touch everyone as I was trying to teach. I don't mean a hand on the shoulder, or even a tap. I mean a full out " squeeze you 'til your eyes pop out" hug. Or she might decide to give you a new hairstyle if your back was turned for a split second. The girl was constant motion. One day, right in the middle of a lesson, she jumped up, raised her arms to the ceiling and yelled at the top of her lungs, "Give it up for Jesus!" Okay. I love Jesus, but to be honest I wasn't in a worshipful mood right then. I didn't feel the need for a tent revival. I asked her to have a seat. My assistant told her to sit down....she did not. She bounced around praising Jesus instead of doing her schoolwork. You can imagine what the rest of the class looked like with her conducting her very own "come to Jesus" meeting and me attempting to have a lesson. All of them went wild, like monkeys at the zoo. Later that day, I informed her mother about the incident. Her mother apologized for her daughters impromptu church service...but she laughed. She said, "I have to tell you this story about Vonda."

We were at church the other Sunday. Everyone was listening to the preacher, preach. We were all into the service, when Vonda started acting out. I didn't want her to interrupt the service so I gave her "the look". She ignored my "look" and continued to be disruptive. I whispered for her to sit down and be quiet. She looked the other way. I had, had it! She started in again and so I reached over and gave her a pinch on the leg to let her know I meant business. At this, she let out a loud, high pitched shriek. The congregation thought she was calling out because she was "in the spirit". I just let them think that, as I gave Vonda another look. She was going to be "in the spirit" again if she didn't quit!

I had a good chuckle over that story. Her mother and I bonded that day. We both knew what we were up against.

Not all my stories are easy to tell. Some hurt. Some stories I have chosen not to share because they still haunt me today. Stories of child abuse, drugs, and neglect...and a system that many times failed my students. My heart broke. My anger flared at the injustice of it all. When a person is passionate about something...sometimes emotions get in the way. Such is the story that I am about to tell......

I had a new student. I will call her Shelly. Shelly came from a home that was dysfunctional to say the least. Long story short it was all about neglect and emotional abuse. She had grandparents that loved her, but a mom that I don't really think understood what real love meant.  I really liked Shelly a lot. She was a good kid except when she had "melt downs" and flipped desks and pulled over cabinets and threw things in a rage. You see Shelly was emotionally disturbed. She had a difficult time controlling her impulses....because mom saw fit to do drugs and drink alcohol while she was pregnant with her. She chose those vices over her own child's health and well being. Shelly would never be "normal" because of her mother. The blame should be laid directly at her mother's feet. Anyway, as a special education teacher I had to have meetings with parents at least once a year to go over progress.  I don't know if mom was just having a bad day or what, but as we sat down at the table for the meeting she says to all the school personnel, "the fact that Shelly isn't making much progress is YOUR fault."  Now, I am usually a fairly calm and collected person. It takes a lot to get me truly riled up. At that moment I wanted nothing more than to come across that table at her. To scream in her face, "NO. It's YOUR fault. YOU made the choice to do cocaine. YOU chose to DRINK. YOU chose this life for your daughter before she was even born. How dare you!! Go home and look in the mirror. YOU. YOU. YOU. Your daughter is damaged because you thought that YOU were more important than her and her future."  I didn't say this. Instead I just sat there and stared at her. I had to detach myself from it. From the situation. You see, over the years I learned that I can't fix everyone. It's not possible. Even though I wanted to help, I could only do what I could do,when my students were with me. Unfortunately, some times I had to turn kids over to situations that were less than desirable...because that is what our system says to do.

Tomorrow I will finish my blog series...my teaching-the later years.

The Children That Changed Me--Part One

As a mom, of course my own children have changed me. I am definitely a different person because they are here. I love my kids all the time, and most of the time I like them too...especially  now, during the teen years, but that is a story for another day.  This particular blog really isn't about my own kiddos though. In this blog I'm talking about my other kids. The kids that I've spent 20+ years with. The kids that have challenged me...and changed me. I choose to dedicate this blog to all the kids out there that are fighting against the odds with both grace and goofiness, spirit and hope, determination and grit....and above all love. You see, I'm a special education teacher/consultant/advocate---whatever you want to call me.... and these are the stories about my kids.

"Aunt Mabel looks different". My mom's sister was born in the 1930's, well before special education law went into effect. A child that was born at home, after a long delivery on my grandmother's part.  A child that, due to reasons I'm really not sure about, was born mentally retarded. I understand that the doctor told my grandmother to just put her in an institution. She wouldn't amount to anything. My grandmother refused and my Aunt Mabel went on to live a happy life. A simple life by a lot of people's standards...but, it suited her fine. She brought a lot of joy to her family in her own way, and when she passed away a few years ago, in her 70's, a hole was left in the hearts of those who loved her. Although my aunt wasn't my student, she was my first understanding of "special education" and I learned a lot from her.

At the beginning of my senior year of high school I had almost enough credits to graduate. I was able to take a couple classes in the morning and by ten o'clock I was on my way to the elementary school next door to complete my independent study at their special education preschool. It was a good year. That was the year I met Joey. Joey was non-verbal, in a wheelchair, and he had seizures. He was the ripe old age of five, but he was full of personality. Those who think that you have to talk to communicate have never met this little guy. He laughed and smiled...and it was contagious. Joey taught me a lot about laughter that year. He also taught me about having a servant's heart. He depended on me to move him from his chair to the floor--and to do that gently. He taught me how to deal with pain. Joey had a major seizure one day, unfortunately he bit his tongue--hard. I know it hurt, and I was helpless to do anything. His jaws were locked down and there was not much to do until the seizure was over. I learned to put myself in his place, and think about how I would want to be treated...even if I didn't have the words.

That same year I met Carrie. A precocious two and a half year old. Grand-daughter to my former 3rd grade teacher. Carrie was a petite powerhouse, with almost white,blond hair and a million dollar smile. She could have you wrapped around her little finger in no time flat. She was talented that way. Carrie also had brain trauma and limpness on one side of her body....from being in a car accident as a infant. She had been born perfectly "normal". Everything worked. Everything was good....until that fateful day that changed her young life. Carrie taught me that, but by the grace of God, I could have had the same thing happen to me. Traumatic brain injury could happen to any of us. It only takes one bad accident to change everything. Every time I saw Carrie, I didn't feel sorry for her, because she didn't feel sorry herself. She kept smiling and learned to figure out how to do things on her own--even if it was difficult. A lesson for all of us.

In my first two years as a "professional", I met Luke, Malisha, Shonda, Jeffrey and Todd. Brent, Michael, Daniel and Travis among others. We all lived in a small town in the mountains of East Tennessee.....and we were going to the Olympics! It was an exciting time. The day of the trip was cool and overcast. We just prayed that it didn't rain! The troop was ready to go. We were bringing "the heat" to this little get together! I couldn't have been more proud. Each of the students participated. Even if they didn't place, they put their entire heart into it....and they were brave in the attempt. So many times, those of us that are able bodied, think to ourselves, " I can't do this or that". I think we probably miss a lot of opportunities because we are too scared to just do it. The courage and tenacity of my students was what made my students special....not their mental or physical disabilities. My kids taught me to press on, past the obstacles. Go, go, go and don't look back. Keep running. You can't win the race if you don't try.

Tomorrow I will be continuing my story from the year 1992....come join me for some more lessons from the heart.