Another Incident At Walmart

I'm telling you what! Every time I go to Walmart something happens to me. I must have a big bulls eye painted on my forehead. I got what I needed at the store. I walked carefully towards my car. I managed to avoid all crazy holiday drivers. I got to my Camry and an SUV the size of Texas is parked next to me. He left me about 1 1/2 inches to open my drivers side door and exhale any bit of air I had in my lungs in order to squeeze in. You know the type...the guy that parks NOT in the middle of the parking spot, but right on the yellow line that divides the space. I guess when you have an SUV that size you take up A LOT of space. UGH!! Now, you might be saying why didn't you go around to the other side of the car and climb in? People. People. People. I don't relish the thought of squeezing in on that side either. Then I'd have to open the passenger door and climb over the seat--making sure not to get mud all over it, since it had rained all night and all day, straddling the gear shift and pitching forward, cracking my head on the rear view mirror and landing on the car horn on the steering wheel......
Not that I've ever done that, you understand, it's totally hypothetical. Don't laugh. I know you are.

So, on with my story.... After I finally got in my car and readjusted my ribcage I started to pull out very slowly. VERY slowly because I couldn't see around the huge honkin' SUV to my left. I creep out. I finally get half way into the aisle before I can see and there are no cars coming so I finish pulling out. As I come up the aisle I STOP. There in front of me wanting to make a turn in MY direction is a HUGE red fire truck. In the Walmart parking lot. So, I can't go forward and the driver of that big red truck for sure can't turn around so I start backing up....and backing up.....and backing up. The pickup truck that was directly behind in the aisle wasn't going to back up at first. HELLO. Do you see the big red truck???? Move it Buster or he's running us over. Well, we both did get backed up and the friendly, young fireman driving the truck waved at me. He probably hates the Walmart parking lot as much as I do.